Ralph.: A one, a two, a one, two, three, four
That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs
Don't mis-serve your own needs
Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter
With a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry
With the Furies breathing down your neck
Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your sun bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn
Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting
Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate
Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh
This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
I feel fine (I feel fine)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
The other night I drifted nice continental drift divide
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs
Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right, right
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Michael Stipe / Michael E. Mills / Peter Lawrence Buck / William Thomas Berry
It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
C.: Well, I don’t know where my thirty-third cousin twice removed from the planet HTAE is. She was supposed to meet us here, at Wayne Manor. She was going to help my best human friend on this planet, d.c. scot and me plan how to keep Meow Z. Tongue from destroying the mirror planet to her home planet, earth, after he commandeered all the natural resources on it to power The Planet of the Talking Cats when it runs out of power in one million cat naps. ELAC was supposed to be here hours ago, and it’s not like her to keep us waiting. I should call her and see what’s going on.
(ring, ring) ELAC doesn’t seem to be answering her phone, so I’ll let my mind wander while I wait for her to answer. Hmmm. If a mother whose last name was March gave birth to a baby girl, she may want to be clever with naming her. She could make the girl’s first name “Wedding.” Then, no matter which name came first, the girl’s name would make sense. She’d either be “Wedding March” Or, if a document required first name last and last name first, she’d be “March Wedding” (hee hee).
(ring) And, if a nonbinary individual lives in a state that requires all males to register for the peacetime draft at the age of eighteen, do they have to register for said draft? And what if Wedding March lived in such a state and decided that she wanted to be a he before her eighteenth birthday. Would she then be obligated to register for the peacetime draft, or would the government go by the gender that’s written on her birth certificate? And, (riii) Oh, hi, ELAC, what’s going on?
E.: I’m stuck at La Guardia Airport in New York City. However, I’ve notified the people in the secret organization the Premium Unidentified Mercenary Army of what’s going on, and they will stop Meow Z. Tongue.
C.: The who now?
E.: The PUMA. Didn’t d.c. fill you in on our plan?
C.: No, he did not. I must talk to him immediately, if not sooner. (ring ring). This must be a bad day for people to answer their phones, because d.c. isn’t answering his phone, either, so I’ll let my mind wander again.
What if Wedding March decided s/he didn’t like being male, so s/he then decided to change back to her/his original gender after s/he registered for the draft as a man? If war broke out, would s/he be obligated to serve his/her country in the military? And, where would s/he go to the restroom in a public place without a “family restroom”? And.. Oh, hi, d.c. ELAC is stuck in New York City at La Guardia Airport…
d.: Well then, it may be a while before she gets here.
C.: How long do you think it will take her to get to Houston?
d.: It may be a couple of days, or weeks, or months for all I know. That’ not a good airport to get stuck at.
C.: Well, she did tell me of our, or I should say y’all’s plan. d.c., why didn’t you tell me what you and ELAC had planned?
d.: I was waiting for her to tell you, but now that you know, do you have any questions?
C.: I’ll say. If this super secret organization exists, why didn’t I know about it?
d.: I think that you may have answered your own question.
C.: Then, how do you and ELAC know about it?
d.: Cal.E., like you, ELAC is a figment of my imagination, and I’m the one who made up the PUMA. It doesn’t really exist.
C.: How would you, or anyone else know if such an organization existed, if it’s such a secret?
d.:....That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Comments