That's great, it starts with an earthquake
Birds and snakes, and aeroplanes
And Lenny Bruce is not afraid
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn
World serves its own needs
Don't mis-serve your own needs
Speed it up a notch, speed, grunt, no, strength
The ladder starts to clatter
With a fear of height, down, height
Wire in a fire, represent the seven games
And a government for hire and a combat site
Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry
With the Furies breathing down your neck
Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn
Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting
Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate
Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh
This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
I feel fine (I feel fine)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
The other night I drifted nice continental drift divide
Mountains sit in a line, Leonard Bernstein
Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs
Birthday party, cheesecake, jellybean, boom
You symbiotic, patriotic, slam but neck, right, right
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (time I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: John Michael Stipe / Michael E. Mills / Peter Lawrence Buck / William Thomas Berry
It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) lyrics © Universal Music Publishing
Group
d.: Cal.E., it’s me, d.c., open the door, please, it’s raining.
C.: Who is it?
d.: It’s me, d.c. scot, your best human friend.
C.: If your really d.c. scot, nurse, author, lyricist and my best human friend, you know that I won’t answer the door unless you say the password phrase.
D.: CAL.E., OPEN THIS DING DANG DOOR NOW!!!
C.: (I really must talk to my husband about changing that password phrase).
“Oh, hi, d.c. What brings you to Wayne Manor, may I ask?”
d.: You asked me to come over and watch “Nine Lives to Give” with you. I suppose that your husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known as T, Because Triple T Was Already Taken got your cable fixed?
C.: Yes, he did. Tucker’s really good with his paws. I mean, really, really good, if you catch my drift.
d.: TMI Cal.E.
C.: I just mean that he’s the heavy weight champion if five different cat fighting categories, and he fixed our cable even though it was pouring down rain. So, I didn’t need to wait on a cable repair person for four to six days. Tucker’s also good with technical things.
d.: Okay, but I have something to do when it stops raining.
C.: Well, the show’s just starting. That’s Billy Bob. He rode into town looking for the man who shot his paw.
d.: Right front?
C.: No, d.c. He needs surgery on that paw, so he’s looking for the man who shot his biological father, because they have the same blood type. He may need a transfusion if the surgery goes bad, and it’s a dangerous one. His dad was killed and then the body was hidden by the murderer. That’s bad, because Billy Bob and his dad have a rare blood type. Less than one hundred million cats have type C blood. In twenty-four hours, the blood won’t be any good, and Bill Bob’s surgeon will refuse to do the surgery. He's wondering what in tarnation to do, or where to look.
d.: I see. So, why doesn’t he call the sheriff and ask her to help?
C.: Because Billy Bob suspects that the sheriff and the murderer are in cahoots. He thinks that they want to steal his paw’s blood and sell it on the cat market. It would be profitable, but it’s highly illegal.
d.: Who’s that?
C.: That’s the sheriff’s wife. She’s gay.
d.: I suppose that you mean that she’s a happy cat, then?
C.: No, d.c. She’s homosexual. She doesn't like tom cats, or most other cats. She’s not straight in any sense of the word. She’s a crooked lawperson who doesn’t tell the truth. She’s…
d.: Okay, got it. Btw, what’s the gay sheriff’s wife’s name?
C.: Sheila Haynes.
d.: SHEILA HAYNES?! SHEILA HAYNES?! THE SHERIFF’S WIFE’S NAME IS SHEILA HAYNES?!
C.: Yes, why?
d.: Because Sheila Haynes is… oh, look, it stopped raining. I need to go water my yard now that it’s stopped raining.
C.: d.c., it’s been raining for three days…
d.: Yes, but it’s also Wednesday. The days of the week don’t change just because it has been raining for three days. I need to go now, though, before it starts to rain again.
C.: So, I guess that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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