"It’s hard to be humble when you’re as great as I am.” Muhammad Ali
d.: Well, Cal.E. and I were going to write our blog before her and Tucker’s recommitment ceremony, but she nor he is anywhere to be seen. Since I’m flying solo today, I’ll share my opinion about something I read in today’s Houston newspaper.
Per the Houston Chronicle, (Saturday, December 23, 2023) the Kansas City Chiefs were caught using under-inflated footballs for the kicking game at their home stadium. Bill Billicheat was alerted to this when Harrison Butker, his excellent kicker, couldn’t put the ball into the end zone when he kicked off. If anyone should know if the other team is cheating, it’s the greatest cheater of all time.
Billicheat rode the coattails of the real GOAT, Tom Brady, until he unceremoniously dumped the quarterback before Brady was ready to retire. All the GOAT did then was lead his new team to the Super Bowl that year. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers then won their second Super Bowl. Hmm. It sounds like the coach wasn’t the main reason the Patriots won so many games and Super Bowls.
We all know that, if a defense touched Tom Bady it was an automatic penalty, no matter which team he was playing for. It’s called “The Jordan Rules.” These rules were developed when Micheal Jordan was starring for the Chicago Bulls and leading them to six NBA championships, with no losses in the finals. Jordan revived the popularity of the NBA with his high-flying slam dunks and his win-at-all-costs mentality. For that, the referees were told not to call enough fouls on the GOAT so that he would need to sit down before he was ready. As a result, I cannot remember watching one game involving Michal Jordan after his second year that he was called for more than two fouls. Brady earned the same respect.
While the Bucs were winning the Super Bowl, Billicheat was drafting and developing Mac Jones. Jones is an above-average quarterback, but, if he was as good as Tom Brady, he wouldn’t have sat on the bench until his senior year at Alabama. I do realize that he’s hurt right now, but he hasn’t advanced his team to the Super Bowl even when he was healthy. Billicheat never turned down the opportunity to take credit for Tom Brady’s greatness. Now we see how good of a coach her really is (not). The Patriots are talking about firing him.
That would be a good decision.
Billicheat correctly pointed out that the NFL is now in charge of making sure that all the balls are inflated to the correct amount of air. The reason is because the Patriots were caught under-inflated their balls in the playoffs one year. Billicheat still swears he knew nothing about that. And I still have that property that’s guaranteed not to flood during a hurricane available in Galveston if you believe that.
Billicheat also was arrogant enough not to hide the fact that he was illegally taping other teams’ practices. Sure, every NFL team probably does do the same thing, but Billicheat was arrogant enough not to try to hide what he was doing. That’s because he thought that he was above the law. That sounds familiar. I work in a place where many of my patients thought the same thing. Some may get out of The Human Kennel in time to see their grandchildren graduate from college.
One thing that has bothered me for twelve years was watching the Texans play the Patriots on national television. It was a typical performance by Brady, and I do think that the Texans were overrated that year. However, I played football for six years, most of the time lining up next to the center. One thing that is stressed to offensive linemen was that, no matter what the snap count, we were supposed to be set for a full count before the ball was snapped. I counted after each big play that the Patriots made and they wanted to snap the ball quickly in that game. Not once was I able to count “one” after the line was supposed to be set and the ball was snapped, but the referees never once called illegal motion.
Why? The Jordan Rules. The Patriots were above the rules, and the NFL refused to enforce the rules that even little league teams must follow. Yes, the Texans whined, but there are ways to counteract cheating. The first thing is to knock the ball out of the center’s hand. Then, the man closest to the center knocks him into the star quarterback, and maybe steps on his throwing hand for good measure. It is a major penalty, and the man who does this will probably be kicked out of the game. However, that would have prompted the NFL to review the tape and admit that the Patriots had an unfair advantage. The Patriots and Billicheat got away with way too much for too many years. I hope that, after he’s fired from the Patriots, the greatest cheater of all time never even gets a job as a water boy with another team, or as a commentator with a network. If he does, he will be too grating for anyone to listen to and will be fired within one year of being hired.
I’m d.c. scot, and this has been one man’s (correct) opinion.