C.: Hey, d.c., I’ve changed my mind about letting you train me for the CatSkills Games.
d.: What made you change your mind, Cal.E?
C.: Two things. Tucker was one. I went to see him catfight another champion. He regained the World Catfighting Super Duper Really Heavy Heavyweight Title when he beat El Gordo Gato in a Texas Cage Match Championship Catfight rematch. El Gordo Gato is who took the belt away from Tucker. He’s now the third time Super Duper Really Heavy Heavyweight catfighting champion of the world. He motivated me to train for the CatSkills Games. (Side note: I smell a rematch).
d.: What was the other reason?
C.: Well, as you know, I ran for Queen of the Planet. I didn’t get elected, even though I ran unopposed! I know I got at least three votes, mine, yours and Tuckers. I challenged the results, but the officials said I needed a lawyer to file a petition. That costs more than the eleven dollars I had to spend on it, so I decided to concentrate on the Cat Skills Games. I want to be a winner at something!
d.: Er…yes! This is an outrage! You should have won by unanimous decision with our three votes. You should demand a recount!
C.: I can’t do that without a lawyer, and the only one that I know of who speaks Catonese is working on mine and Tucker’s defense for the bank heist we supposedly attempted. If anyone was robbed, it was me! One vote alone would have made me the queen of the planet. I know that I got Tucker’s vote, and I voted for myself. With your vote, I would have three. That’s three times the number I needed to win!
d.: Er…yes. You should have had three votes. Um, did they actually count the votes? Maybe they miscounted.
C.: No, I don’t think that they did, but I can’t count past two anyway, so I wouldn’t know.. I’ll just concentrate on the Cat Skills Games, though. When do we start training?
d.: We can start training right after your shift ends tomorrow morning. I’ll skip work tomorrow to train you. I won’t charge you until after the games. When you win, it will be a great advertisement for me. I’ll get millions of customers and make trillions of dollars! I’ll train you for free, as long as you win. I need the cash flow!
C.: What if I don’t win?
d.: Failure is not an option! We’re going to train, train, train at the Triple T Gym in Houston. When we're done with that, we’ll train some more! I’ll put you on a special diet so that you’ll be faster, more agile and stronger. You’ll get a rubdown after each workout to get rid of the lactic acid in your muscles so that you can begin training again immediately! We’ll train until we both drop from exhaustion. Then, we’ll catch our breath and train some more!
C.: Houston, we have a problem.