Ever since I was a young boy I've played the silver ball From Soho down to Brighton I must have played 'em all But I ain't seen nothing like him In any amusement hall That deaf, dumb and blind kid Sure plays a mean pinball
He stands like a statue Becomes part of the machine Feeling all the bumpers Always playing clean He plays by intuition The digit counters fall That deaf, dumb and blind kid Sure plays a mean pinball
He's a pinball wizard There has got to be a twist A pinball wizard's Got such a supple wrist
How do you think he does it? I don't know What makes him so good?
Ain't got no distractions Can't hear no buzzers and bells Don't see no lights a-flashin' Plays by sense of smell Always gets a replay Never seen him fall That deaf, dumb and blind kid Sure plays a mean pinball
I thought I was The Bally table king But I just handed My pinball crown to him
Even on my favorite table He can beat my best His disciples lead him in And he just does the rest He's got crazy flipper fingers Never seen him fall That deaf, dumb and blind kid Sure plays a mean pinball
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Peter Townshend
Pinball Wizard lyrics © Abkco Music Inc., Royalty Network, Spirit Music Group, Universal Music Publishing Group, Warner Chappell Music, Inc
d.: Just a minute Cal.E. I need to set off my sprinkler now that it’s stopped raining. Okay, whattsup?
C.: (I really think d.c. needs to talk to my dad about his grass. He doesn’t seem to be able to remember how to take care of it now that he’s retired from horticulture). d.c., why did you tell my kittens and me to play an elimination Pong* tournament today?
d.: For two reasons, Cal.E. One is that it’s Mother’s Day today. I wanted you to be able to spend time with your kittens. The other is that a lot of the Cat Skills Games involve hand-eye coordination. Who won the tournament?
C.: I did. I had to beat T.J. in a sudden death, triple overtime game, but I won.
d.: And T. J. came in second. Whom did he beat to get into the finals?
C.: He beat Ralph, but they went into four sudden death overtimes. It was fun to watch!
d.: And which of your kittens did you beat to get into the finals?
C.: I destroyed Jodi in the semifinal round.
d.: Well, now you know which of you to enter the game that require more dexterity…
C.: Well, T.J. Ralph and I are really good. I’m an alien cat, so I know more about things like Pong than my kittens do. Meow Z. Tongue kidnapped the guy who invented the game and brought him back to POTT-C. He taught us how to play. T.J. is a trained TDCJ guard cat, and Ralph plays the bass…
d.: I think you mean the bass.
C.: That’s what I said. He plays a stringed instrument. That has increased his dexterity. but Jodi isn’t good at all.
d.: Then how did she make it to the semi-finals of your Pong tournament?
C.: Because her brothers baby her, because she’s the youngest queen kitten. Even though she’s only ten minutes younger than my oldest kitten, T.J., they think of her as a baby. They all let her win when they played her, and she was in her brothers' bracket.
d.: Well, maybe you, T.J. and Ralph can handle the games thar require a lot of dexterity.
C.: What about the physically demanding games? Don’t we need to train for those games?
d.: Not really. You and your kittens are already in shape from training for the Cat Rodeo. You don’t need to do anything but maintain your physical condition, not improve it. I ran a fifty-mile run eight weeks after I completed an Ironman distance triathlon, and never ran over six and one-half miles at a time between the two events because I didn’t want to wear my legs out before the ultra-marathon. Besides, y’all should be in a taper by now. The Cat Skills Games are next weekend.
C.: I see. Well, thanks for the workout. It was fun, and now I know how to coordinate my team. I’ll just keep Jodi on the bench until someone else gets hurt.
d.: You need to find a way for every one of your kittens to participate.
C.: I will, I’ll give Jodi something important to do, like be the water cat, or keep statistics. Something like that will be right up her alley (and keep her out of my way).
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
*Pong came onto the market on November 29, 1972. The original Pong consisted of two paddles that players used to volley a small ball back and forth across a screen. The German-born American television engineer Ralph Baer laid the groundwork for Pong in 1958 when he proposed making simple video games that people could play on their home television sets.** It was the first home video game. It was so simple that even a nine-year-old boy could excel at it. I doubt seriously, though, that a cat could play even this simple video game, but this is an imaginary blog with imaginary characters. There is not such thing as a talking cat or a planet that is full of them-as far as a know.