Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Well,  my third husband, (and second here on planet Earth) , 

the eight-time World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology cat fighting champion of the world, Tucker Tucker Two

a,k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by T’s former BFF, cofounder with the Triple T Cartel, WACKO tag-team cat fighting partner and then chief rival for T’s WACKO championship belts and nemesis in real life and now best friend again after T beat him for the WACKO middleweight cat-fighting title

and then woke him up and gave him a delicious Planet of the Talking Cats Cat Treats.

T won two treats and one meow-illion dollars

for beating The Original Tripel T, Tom the Tabby

in their last cat fight) had my best human friend, author, and nurse d.c. scot

run twelve of my fourteen kittens

out of Wayne Manor

while I wasn’t home. I suppose those two males thought that drastic measures were called for because all my kittens are middle-aged and still living with T. and me. I suppose they do have a point, but I’m still not happy. I’ll need to do something myself, I suppose…

That’s it! Meow Z. Tongue was a mediator

before he became the Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy. After his regime was defeated and run out of the Cat Galaxy, he settled here on this planet. He’ll be able to produce a solution that will satisfy all parties concerned. He should be available because he’s now just a lap cat for a kind older lady who is retirng from show business after she completes her fairwell tour.

He lives in her house on this planet. I think I’ll give him a call…wait, that’s not what people do now. I’ll need to text him to tell him I’m going to call….or I’ll just email him.

MZT.: (ring) Hi, Cal.E., thanks for the email. I was looking for something to do since my kind old lady is still touring (twenty plus years after announcing her retirement), and this fit the bill…

C.: Are you going to charge me? If so, how many of these will it cost?

MZT. No, not at all. It’s just a manner of speaking. Anyway, I think that I’ve produced a solution to your problem.

C.: I’m listening.

MZT.: Well, it’s May, so that means that the Cat Olympics are just around the corner. I know this because I've been selected to present the colors this year.

C.: Okay…

MZT. Your kittens

need a lot of training to do well in those games. So, what I propose is that your kittens get out of Wayne Manor and into a training facility

where T. and d.c. can train them, feed them, and  make sure they’re all hydrated properly. They will train your kittens for the Cat Olympics, so they’ll be getting plenty of exercise. Also, T. and d.c. will be able to make sure that they are all on time for work at The Kennel.

C.: That sounds very structured.

MZT.: That’s the point. When they get accustomed to this routine, they should be able to take care of themselves. Additionally, they will be glad to get out from under the authority of T. and d.c. Hopefully, they will all be motivated to prove to you and T. that they can survive on their own.

C.: That sounds like a plan, Meow. I’ll find my kittens and tell them what is about to happen, so that’s all the time we have for today. That’s the end of this cat ta(i)le.

Please join us next time for another edition of Cal.E.’s Korner.