Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: (ring) Hello?

d.: Hi, Cal.E. I was trying to think of something to write about in our blog today, and I came up with a question for you.

C.: What is it?

d.: Well, a question is defined as an interrogative statement used to derive information, but that wasn’t what I wanted to ask you.

C.: I asked you…never mind. What was your interrogative statement used to derive information from me, d.c.?

d.: Well, I know that your  third husband, (and second here on earth) the now eight-time World Association of Ca -fighting and Knowledge or Ornithology Tucker Tucker Two,

a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by his former BFF, co-founder of the Triple T Cartel and business partner, WACKO tag-team cat-fighting partner and former chief rival for his eight WACKO championship belts and former nemesis in real life whom he defeated to claim the WACKO middle weight cat fighting title

and now BFF again, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby

is a meow-illionaire,

so he could have bought a house anywhere he wanted to in the Greater Houston area, which is a large area---

C.: Some say it stretches from the Texas/Louisiana state line to El Paso and from Galveston to Waxahatchee—

d.: Well, with an area so large, how did T decide to move into Wayne Manor?

C.: Well, as you know, T. proposed marriage on our nineth date. That’s a lucky number for cats, since we have nine lives. However, I refused to marry him if I had to move away from my human mom and dad, your next-door neighbors and best friends Horace and Hortense Huxley.

d.: Why? Your human mom and dad were always on yet another cruise

because your human mom’s sister, Yetta Nather,

and her husband, Justin Nather

owned the cruise line, so they got discounted prices on all cruises. Your mom wanted to travel the world after they both retired, and they decided to do that by cruise ship.

C.: That’s true, but it was even more of a reason to stay close to home. My mom and dad were relying on me to keep all the foster animals they had at their house fed---

d.: Horace asked me to do that, Cal.E. Don’t you remember? I was the one who fed you and your foster brothers and sisters when you lived next door to me—

C.: DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THE STORY OR NOT?!!!

d.: I’m sorry, go ahead.

C.: As I was saying, T. wanted me to live with him after we married and I wanted to stay close to my foster parents here on earth, so he started looking for a place that was close to where Mom and Dad lived. He found the perfect place---

d.: Cal.E., before T. bought Wayne Manor it was a run-down, rat-infested place—

that even a dog wouldn't want to live in. It wasn't like there was one half-million buyers looking at the property, so I suppose T. got it at a dscounted price.

C.: Yes, as I was saying, it was perfect, so he bought it.

d.: And you, T., and your fourteen kittens

had plenty of food to eat after they moved in with y’all because there were always rodents available.

All y’all had to do was kill them and eat them. I understand that part, but how did a cat buy a house and then get workers to come out and restore the house and the grounds? Didn’t the people T. talked to know they were talking to a cat?

C.: No, they did not.

d.: Then, how did T. do it without revealing his identity?

C.: I would tell you, but we’re out of time for today. So, that’s the end of this cat ta(i)le.

Please join us next time for another edition of Cal.E.’s Korner.