C.: Oh, d.c, I had Tom the Tabby bring you something!
d.: What is so important that you felt you must wake me up, after I worked all night?
C.: I just wanted to let you know that you did not need to worry about ‘Bama covering the spread. I bet the equity in your house on the Texans, and they won!
d.: I guess it is good that you won, but what if the Texans had lost?
C.: Well, Mom and Dad may have needed to find a new place to live. I KNEW the Texans were going to win THAT game. Since Detroit won, the Texans and Jaguars were playing for the number one draft choice in next year’s draft, since neither team is likely to win another game. The worst thing that could have happened was for the Texans to win the game. OF COURSE they won. Since I bet the game straight up with Tom, I won six times what I bet. That will buy a LOT of catnip!
d.: You have a point, although the Texans did orchestrate the worst trade in the history of the NFL. What makes you think they will not trade the number one draft choice for some magic beans, or something like that?
C.:I DO NOT bet on the draft. That Is just stupid. I am on a roll. I paid Tom back when the Rockets won, and now I do not have to worry about ‘Bama covering the spread.
d.: I still don’t like to bet on anything I cannot control.
C.: Like what?
d.: Like maybe a poker game, where I can get a read on the other players’ tells. That is the only thing that I would bet on. After all, “everyone has a tell.”
C.: I remember that line from “Precision.” It is the opening line to the chapter that is called “The Tell.” That was a good chapter, if a little sad. YOU seem to do that with all your books, d.c. Why do you do that?
d.: Because melancholy is the strongest human emotion. Besides, no one’s life is ideal. We all know sadness. Not everyone can relate to someone who wins the lottery, marries the girl or guy of his or her dreams, and rides off into the sunset. Most people relate to sad things better than happy things. And remember, “We will all die one day, it is just a matter of when. We are all terminal in a sense. That’s the thing about life, no one gets out of it alive.”
C.: When you start to quote yourself from your books, I know that you are tired (although you are not channeling Elvis-yet). “Precision" WAS a good book, but I have read it ten times. You asked me to give a different perspective on it, so I did. I will let you go back to sleep and close this segment by singing a song about acquiring money for nothing, as I did!.
Now look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it You play the guitar on the MTV That ain't workin', that's the way you do it Money for nothin' and your chicks for free Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it Lemme tell ya, them guys ain't dumb Maybe get a blister on your little finger Maybe get a blister on your thumb We got to install microwave ovens, custom kitchen deliveries We got to move these refrigerators, we got to move these color TVs…
I want my, I want my, I want my M.T.V.
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