The warden threw a party in the county jail
The prison band was there, and they began to wail
The band was jumpin', and the joint began to swing
You should've heard them knocked-out jailbirds sing
Let's rock
Everybody, let's rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Spider Murphy played the tenor saxophone
Little Joe was blowin' on the slide trombone
The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang
The whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang
Let's rock
Everybody, let's rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Number forty-seven said to number three
"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see"
"I sure would be delighted with your company"
"Come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me"
Let's rock
Everybody, let's rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Sad Sack was sittin' on a block of stone
Way over in the corner weepin' all alone
The warden said, "Hey, buddy, don't you be no square
"If you can't find a partner use a wooden chair"
Let's rock
Everybody, let's rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Shifty Henry said to Bugs
"For Heaven's sake"
"No one's lookin', now's our chance to make a break"
Bugsy turned to Shifty and he said, "Nix nix"
"I wanna stick around awhile and get my kicks"
Let's rock
Everybody, let's rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Jerry Leiber / Mike Stoller
Jailhouse Rock lyrics © Elvis Presley Music, Abg Elvis Songs
C.: Hello, d.c., is that you?
d.: Yes, Cal.E., it is me, d.c. How are you doing?
C.: I’m fine! Today, they served me liverwurst for breakfast. This place is great!
d.: Cal.E., you do know that you are in the Canadian Kennel, don’t you?
C.: Well, this place is MUCH better than the kennel I was in while I was in Houston. There, I was served food that was almost inedible! Who can live on filet mignon, porterhouse steaks and large potatoes with bacon (although, that was good), cloves, butter, and garlic salt?! That was nasty!
d.: Well, if you want to get out, I think I came up with a way to do it. All you must say is that you were reading the book I emailed to you and you were just commenting that it was “da bomb!”; as in you think the book is very good. The Canadiens aren’t familiar with American slang. They wouldn’t know that you left off the first word. Just tell them that you were really enjoying reading my book (and I could do some kind of promotion with this, too).
C.: d.c., why would I want to leave here? I have everything I need, and the food is yummy! I had sauerkraut and liverwurst sandwiches two days in a row for my morning meal, and my evening meal was bratwurst with aged cheese. I could smell it as soon as it came out of the kitchen.
Additionally, someone comes to check on me every two hours just to see if I need anything! I don’t even need to leave my cell to go to the sandbox, and it is changed almost every week! This place is great! Why would I ever want to leave?!
d.: What about your freedom, your job, and your kittens?
C.: Ralph comes to see me almost every day, and I can talk to the rest of my kittens on facetime, since this kennel has wifi. I can even talk to T.J.
As far as freedom and a job, who needs either when all my needs are taken care of by the staff? I don’t even need to move to get what I want, because it is brought to me, just for the asking.
AND, if I ever need to see the vet. THAT is free! AND he comes right to my cell. I don’t even need to go to him! I’m living the highlife, d.c.! This is the best thing that ever happened to me. Besides, I am only on page seventy in your book. I would be lying if I said that I enjoyed it, without reading the whole book first!
d.: Cal.E., keep one thing in mind. Animals don’t have the same rights as humans do. If you are not exonerated, it may cost you your life.
C.: Maybe I should start reading your book, then, d.c. I may be able to honestly say that it is “da bomb!” THAT may save my life!
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