Cal.E.'s Korner

 PUPPY PATTER

 by

T. Puppy Katt:

It looks as if Dad

left his computer on

while he and Mom

went on Christmas vacation. I hope that helps Mom get over her headache. She's had it for several years now!

Anyway, Dad’s computer can translate both Dogma and Catonese. That’s how that annoying cat

who lives in Wayne Manor

with her third husband,

the six-time World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known AS T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by T.’s former BFF, business partner with the Triple T Cartel and Championship Tag-team WACKO cat-fighting partner and now nemesis and sworn WACKO enemy, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby)

writes the blog for Dad sometimes.

Anyway, Mom and Dad forgot to take the dog, so they called a dog-sitter to come to stay with me.

That sounded like fun. Teenage boys are full of energy and fun to play with, but this one has a girlfriend. He spends more time on the phone than he does doing his job, playing with me, and guarding the house.

Well, guarding the house isn’t a hard task for an intelligent, beautiful, fun-loving dog like me, but that is his job, not mine. I mean, I bark a good game, but is anyone going to fear such a pretty animal as me? As if!

Of course, the teenage boy that came to take care of me and my house does play with me for a few hours a day, but that just isn’t enough! His job is to be at my disposal 24/7 while he’s here. I mean, sure, he feeds me two meals a day and I eat most of it. I’m still trying to watch my girlish figure, though, so I don’t ever overeat. I want to always look my best because….well, I don’t know why. It’s a matter of pride, I suppose. I mean, what if I got fat and looked like that disgustingly obese feline, Big Boy

who lives in my house? Gag me with a fish bone!

I do NOT want to end up looking like an overstuffed pillow! That would be gauche, and I’m into appearances. After all, you are what you look like, or is it something else? Anyway, keeping up appearances are important to my breed, so I need to get my beauty rest, and it’s almost time for my late med-evening nap. I’ll need that to give me the strength to get to my late evening nap, which will lead to my night-time sleep. One can never be too pretty, too thin, or get too much rest, so that’s the end of this Katt ta(i)le, y’all.

Please join us tomorrow for another edition of Puppy Patter…er…. Cal.E.’s Korner.

And kids, always remember

Or anywhere else.