Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Hello, and welcome to today’s edition of Cal.E.’s Korner, brought to you by the good folks at POTTC cat food. For food that’s out of this world, try Planet of the Talking Cats cat food. It’s so good, you’ll think that it’s not of this word. And that’s because it isn’t.

Today, we have two incredibly special guests on Cal.E.’s Korner, sponsored by POTTC Cat Food. First, we have the…backup quarterback for the replacement Oilers? Mr. Justin Case.

JC.: Hi, Cal.E., I just want to correct one thing that you said.

C.: What is that?

JC.: What is what?

C.: What I stated incorrectly?

JC...: Oh, yes, you did a good job of introducing me, but I am no longer the backup quarterback for the replacement Oilers. That’s because they don’t exist anymore.

C.: Yes, Justin. You’re about twenty-eight years late with that revelation, but, if the Oilers did still exist, they would be feeding their cats POTTC cat food, the best cat food in the universe.

JC.: I see, well when I found out the Oilers moved and changed their name without leaving me a forwarding address, I looked for another job.

C.: And what are you doing now?

JC.: why, who wants to know?

C.: The good folks in the audience and listening to Cal.E.’s Korner, sponsored by the good folks at POTTC Cat Food.

JC.: Oh, that yes well…what were we talking about again?

C.: Let’s go in a different direction. Justin, why do you wear a leather football helmet?

JC.: That’s easy. The doctors now say that players who played football when I played football in high school, we would have been better off not wearing helmets than the ones we wore. Unfortunately, they won’t let you on the field without a helmet, so I adjusted.

C. So, why do you wear it all the time?

JC>.Wear what?

C.: Never mind.

JC, I’m sorry, Cal.E, but I have a splitting headache We’ll need to go over the playbook another day. I’m just not up to it today, I’m afraid. Now, which way to the locker room so I can hit the showers?

C.: Take a right Justin, and remember, two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.

JC. Got it! I’ll go left, left , left and then straight ahead and throw to ball to the open receiver.

C.: Okay, moving on, well, I’m getting a message that it’s time for a commercial break, so we’ll hear from the good folks at POTTC Cat Food, the cat food with other worldly taste.

Later that same day…

C.: Well, next, we have my youngest male kitten  the world’s best, and probably only, bass player,

but he can also play the bass.

Please give a warm, POTTC Cat Food welcome to Ralph Katt.

Thank you, small intimate audience for that generous ovation, but it’s not as good as the one your cat will give you when you feed him or her POTTC Cat Food, the best cat food in the universe.

Okay, Ralph, what have you and my former band been doing lately?

RK.: Well, we just came back from our ADIDAS tour.

C.: Yes, it says here that y’all have been playing back allies in Anahuac, Dickinson, Indian Springs, Addicks and Sealy. How did that tour go?

RK.: It was going badly, until our manager fed us some POTTC Cat Food. Then, we had enough energy to avoid all the shoes that were being thrown at us in the back allies of those great towns.

C.: That’s great, Ralph, you just saved me a plug. So, what’s next for Ralph and the RoCKats.

RK.: We’re all tired, so we’ll be going on a shorter tour, the NIKE tour.

C.: So, y’all will be playing back allies in Navasota, Indians Springs, Klien and Egypt, Texas?

RK. That’s correct, Mom. We’ll gather as much catnip and old shoes as we can, which should be a lot, because we’ll be strengthened by our POTTC Cat Food. Then, I’ll be able to pay and T. you rent in catnip, Mom.

C.: No, no, no, I don’t take it no more, I’m tired of waking up on the floor…

or anywhere els. YOu should also listen to the big guys, Raplh..

RK.: ???

C.: Sorry, I was channeling d.c. and his old music, there. Give credit to the ex-Beatle, Ringo Starr, though, for recording that song when he was in rehab.

Anyway, we’re out of time for today, folks, that’s the end of this cat ta(i)le

(sponsored by the good folks at POTTC Cat Food). We’ll see y’all next time right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.