Cal.e.'s Korner

C.: Well, it’s rivalry weekend for college football. As some of y’all know, d.c. is a big college football fan, so he asked me to write the blog by myself.

To honor the tradition of rivalry weekend, I’ll make my predictions for some of the bigger games, using the mascots to determine who will win and lose.

I’ll start in the northwestern corner of the nation with Oregon and Washington.

That’s the Huskies, a hearty breed of dogs against the Ducks. This one is easy, folks. I dog can take down a duck in a few seconds once s/he catches the duck, so I’ll say Washington by two points.

Next, we have the Ohio State vs. Michigan game. I know what a Wolverine is, it’s a really mean dog. Also, the superhero, Wolverine is cool, and I don’t even know what a Buckeye is, but the Ohio State Buckeyes have been sitting on top of the college football polls for most of the season. Still, a Wolverine, canine or human, should be able to beat Buckeye, so I’ll take Michigan by three points.

Next, we have the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets against the Georgia Bulldogs. This is a tough one, folks. Bulldogs are big,  and strong, but also very docile if they are English Bulldogs. And Yellow Jackets can be very annoying and hurt badly if a whole lot of them sting you at  once, so I’ll take the Yellow Jackets by five.

In the next state, we have one of the oldest rivalries in college football: the Auburn Tigers against the Alabama Crimson tide. I don’t know why, but the Alabama team uses an elephant as its mascot. A Crimson tide can kill a lot of fish and those who eat the contaminated fish, but the elephant is the mascot, and tigers are just plain faster and meaner than the huge animals, so I’ll take the Auburn tigers by four points.

And finally, in the next state, It’s the Ole Miss (University of Mississippi) Rebels facing d.c.’s favorite team, the Mississippi State Bulldogs. Based on mascots, this is an easy one. A bulldog can tear up a human if s/he is mad, so the Bulldogs by twenty.

I know that Harvard and Yale play this weekend, and the Yale Bulldogs can manage the Harvard Crimson, I’m sure, but who really cares, besides the plurality of the population of the United States that lives on or near the East Coast? If any of these predictions come true, remember that you heard it here first on Cal.E.’s  Korner.

(Predictions are for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to a betting website is strictly unidentical.)