Cal.E.'s Korner

d.: I don’t see T. Puppy anywhere, and it’s time for her to eat her dinner. I’ll go check the back yard.

T. Puppy: I’ll hide on bubby’s bed. He has a white bed spread, so Dad will never see me. He’ll think that Bubby didn’t make the bed up very well on his last leave. I don’t want to eat my dinner. Do they think that I got this figure by being a chow hound, like their old dog, Buddy Bones? As if! And what about my baseball career. I want to be the first female to play center field for the Astros, and having puppies will curtail my career! OMD X 3! Hmm…

I’ve heard that having puppies, especially a lot of them at one time can ruin one’s figure, so that’s a big “No thanks” on that one. I’ll just have to find some way to communicate with Mom and Dad that I don’t want to have puppies. Maybe this computer program that converts Dogma to English can help me with that….

Uh oh! I hear Dad coming. I’ll just jump up on Bubby’s bed and…he shut the door! Now I’m trapped in here. Oh well, I didn’t want to eat my dinner tonight, anyway. I’ll just wait until he’s a safe distance away and then bark my wishes into the voice command on Dad’s computer.

Well, it sounds like Dad has given up looking for me. He’s reading his newspaper now, so it’s a good time to bark my wishes into the computer.\\

T Puppy Katt, the scholar

“Dearest Mom and Dad,

Thank you so much for adopting me into your family, but I do not wish to have one of my own. I am afraid that I wouldn’t be a very good mother, being so young. I also don’t want to be saddled with one hundred puppies in case I decide to go back to obedience school and pursue my masters, and then my Doctorate in Playing and Hiding.

(If that big lug, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Tripel T Was Already Taken (by his former BFF, business partner with the Triple T Cartel and World Association of Cat fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology, And Now Adversary and Mortal Enemy, the Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby), so can I.

I appreciate y’all earing my kibble and giving me a warm, dry place to sleep, but I must live my own life and make my own decisions. That does not, in any way, involve raising a family of my own!

I hope y’all understand are not offended by this letter, because that is not my intention. I love you both very much, just not enough to ruin my figure and the rest of my life. I may only have about twelve years on this planet, and I’ve already lived two of them, so I only have….about one-hundred years left, minus two years.

Much love,

T. Puppy, Katt.