Cal.E.'s Korner

T. Puppy: well, Dad’s been at work all weekend, so I’m bored. He usually takes me for walks and plays ball with me, but he said he needed to earn money to buy my kibble by working all weekend. Kibble must be expensive because he’s been gone until bedtime both days.

Hmm…Maybe Dad came home and wanted to look something up on his computer. He left it open, and it has a voice command. He also has an app. that will convert Dogma to English, so all I must do is bark into the computer and I can write a blog myself, like Dad and that annoying cat that lives down the street do. I know what I’ll call it already, because I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for days, or maybe moths…Or years? I’m only two, so it can’t be a lot of years. Anyway, here goes.’

PUPPY PATTER

By T. Puppy  Katt.

Humans can be so annoying. I mean, why would a human give a dog the last name ‘Katt’? I mean, OH MY DOG! It makes no sense. And Dad

says that I’m old enough now to get bred, whatever that means. The last time I looked up that word was the last time Dad left his computer open and had to go potty, I guess. Since his computer will convert Dogma to English, I barked in the word ‘bread, ’ into his computer

and looked it up on  the dog -specific website Poodle Are Wonderful; (especially) Standards. PAWS said that It said that it was delicious slices of cooked dough,

so I helped myself to Mom and Dad’s bread…AND GOT IN TROUBLE! OMD X2! Apparently, I misspelled the word, so I put in the alternate spelling: bred.

Do Mom and Dad think I’m going to do that with some random dog? As if! I mean, GAG ME WITH A CHICKEN BONE!. At least buy me dinner first and maybe take a walk so we can talk. Anything can happen. I mean, look at what happened to that annoying cat that lives down the street. She got bred without knowing it, and now has like, one million kittens who still live with her and her husband although they’re ancient. I don’t want to have kittens, or...I think they’re called puppies when dogs have them, but they are so annoying. The nip and bark and play all day…Hmm... Maybe it would be fun to have dog kittens. Mom and Dad are ancient. They’re even older than Cal.E.’s kittens, so they don’t want to pay much, but I do. They act like they are too tired to play when they get home from work after working for…IDK.

Every time they leave the house it seems like five or six hours, even just to take out the trash. Dad was gone for longer than that the last two days, so it must have been about one-hundred hours. I don’t know how long that is, but humans act as if it’s a lot, so I’ll go with that number.

Well, I heard Dad tell Mom that he needs to go study on the computer, so I’ll wrap up my blog now. What does Dad say at the end of his blog? Oh, yes, I remember now. …

 This has been T. Puppy Katt, with one dog’s (correct) opinion.