Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: (ring) Hey d.c., what are you up to today?

d.: About ten or fifteen pounds more than I’d like to be

C.: Good, glad to hear it. Anyway, I just called to tell you that the Joe Groan Show is about to come on KEEP/KEEN Conroe/Cut-N-Shoot. The first guest is someone I think you might be interested in hearing.

d.: I can’t Cal.E.

C.: ???

d.: Because I forgot to turn off my television satellite channel Skip Adz, I tried out the channel because it was a free trial and there were no ads on that channel.

C.: Well, how much did your credit card get charged, then?

d.: Almost as much as my electricity bill for August. It’s really hot in August in Houston, and I like my thermostat set to a comfortable level.

C.: Yes, to quote one of your manuscripts, “People who live in Southeast Texas go to saunas to cool off during late August.”

d.: That’s true. However, since I must pay off my credit card to avoid paying interest, I had to cancel my satellite radio to make ends meet.

C.: Well, T.’s not here, so why don’t you come over and we’ll listen to the Joe Grown Show together.

later that same day

d.: I’ll be right over.

(Knock, knock knock) Calculating Einstein Katt.

Knock, knock knock) Calculating Einstein Katt.

Knock, knock knock) Calculating Einstein Katt.

C.: Who is it?

d.: It’s your best human friend, who you just invited to come over and listen to the Joe Groan Show.

C.: If your really d.c. scot, author, nurse and my best human friend, you’ll know the password phrase. I must hear it before I let you into Wayne Manor

d.: C’mon, Cal.E., it’s about to rain (again).

C.: No, that’s not it.

d.: CAL.E! OPEN THIS DING DANG DOOR NOW!

x.: Oh, hi, d.c. When did you arrive?

d.: ---Never mind that. Let’s listen to Joe Groan.

JG., I have here the six-time World Association of Catfighting and Knowledge of Ornithology, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by The Original Triple T, tom the Tabby, T’s former tag-team cat fighting partner, business associate and bff)’s new WACKO Cat fighting partner, Meow Z. Tongue. That’s right, folks, I didn’t say the  (former) the six-time World Association of Catfighting and Knowledge of Ornithology, Tucker Tucker Two, a..k..a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by The Original Triple T, tom the Tabby, T’s former tag-team cat fighting partner, business associate and bff).

Meow, you were the Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy, and you came to earth to find an alternative energy source to power The Planet of the Talking Cats. You found plenty of it when you captured all the hot air that politicians produce while on the campaign trail. Now, you’re retired to the countryside and have become a forty-pound lap cat. Tell me, what compelled you to go into cat fighting on this planet?

Meow.: Well, T called me and said that he and Tome had a falling out (again) He asked me to be his new tag team partner. I said, “ I’ll be the best teammate I can be and give everything my best shot. Next question.

J. So, why did you decide to switch tag team partners?

M.: Because Tom didn’t say, “I’ll be the best teammate I can be and give everything my best shot...”

JG. So, what do you think that you’ll contribute to Teams T?

M.: I’ll be the best teammate I can be and give everything my best shot.”

JG.: Well, we’re out of time for today, folks, but y’all heard it here first. the six-time World Association of Catfighting and Knowledge of Ornithology, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by The Original Triple T, tom the Tabby, T’s former tag-team cat fighting partner, business associate and bff)’s new WACKO Cat fighting partner, Meow Z. Tongue. That’s right, folks, I didn’t say the  (former) the six-time World Association of Catfighting and Knowledge of Ornithology, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo *who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby, T’s former tag-team cat fighting partner, business associate and bff).

is going back into the ring with a new tag team partner, who is not his wife. (Maybe because she's hiding from him since the honeymoon is long over?)

This has been the Joe Grown Show, with the 136,000 most accurate prognosticator in the northeast tip of Southeast Texas: Joe Groan. We’ll see y’all next time here on the Joe Groan Show. Until then, always remember, I’m Joe Groan, and you are somebody else.