Cal.E.'s Korner

Wait! Did you say that this line is to brag about things that are good in your life?

d.: Yes, that’s the general idea. However, if you just need to unload on me, feel free to do so.

Well, I have a lot to be thankful for.

d.: Like what?

Well, since I lost my job, I don’t have to pay taxes. And, since the mortgage company repossessed my house, I don’t have to worry about keeping it up, or mowing my yard, or fighting with the HOA in my neighborhood.

d.: Okay, but what about food and clothing?

All I need is the clothes on my back and I can usually get a good meal at the soup kitchen.

d.: Do you need medicine?

Well, I’m fairly healthy, except for my high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a serious heart condition.

d.: And you need medicine for all of that. You will first need to see a doctor, though, so s/he can prescribe those medications, and that costs money, too.

I have good insurance because I’m old enough to be on Medicare. I can also collect social security checks, so I can pay the doctor.

d.: I see you haven’t been to a doctor in a while.

Why?

d.: Because it’s not just one doctor. You must have a primary provider, who will refer you to a cardiologist, and you’ll need to pay each one a copay.

And…did you ever contribute to social security?

Why do you ask?

d.: Because a lot of contract workers don’t. Their employers expect them to contribute on their own. It’s almost like being self-employed if you do contract work. That’s what most athletes are, contract workers. You should have also been paying a small amount for Medicare each paycheck. That’s how you get to use that as insurance, by paying for other people’s health care when you are younger and working.

Well, I need to find my old check stubs to answer that…which are in my house that the mortgage company repossessed. Hmm. It seems that my life isn’t as good as I believed it to be. I suppose I should hang up now and stop tying up this line…

d.: Wait! There is help for people like you. There are government programs that can help you. Additionally, my cohost, Cal.E. Katt’s

husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The (former) Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by his former cat fighting tag-team partner, business associate and BFF, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby) has a fund set up to help people like you. I’ll ask him if he can help you.

With what?

d.: Money, so you can go to the doctor, change clothes, eat a decent meal, and get medications for your conditions.

What conditions? And why would I need money?

d.: Because you lost your job.

I did?

C.: That’s it for today, folks, because I need to call T to see if he can help this poor soul who’s call is on my cell phone. Please join us next time for another edition of Cal.E.’s Korner.