Cal.E.'s Korner

d.: Well, I’m feeling better since the Astros won last night, and Cal.E. is “previously indisposed.” In other words, she’s taking a long cat nap

While I have the floor exclusively, I’d like to clear some things up.

Number one: I didn’t mean to ignore the anniversary of the worst thing ever to happen on American soil six days ago, I just thought that some levity would help brighten some people’s day.

Number two: I sometimes use silliness to make a point. I do think that some people have been more of a detriment to their organizations than an asset. Not to mention names, but one name that Starts with Rob and ends with (he is NOT) a Man,Fred. I have company with this thought. Some of the local talking heads on my favorite sports radio station think the same of the Major League Baseball Commissioner, and I invite them to use my alternative name for him.

Number three (ring) Excuse me one moment, please.

“HI Cal.E., what’s going on?”

C.: Well, I was minding my own business, monitoring our 119 line….

d.: So, you were taking a long cat nap…

C.: Okay, but the phone never rings. This time, though, it did.

d.: So, someone finally has a reason to believe their life is worth bragging about.

C.: Well….no. I don’t think this guy gets the gist of our 119 line. I have him on hold. Can I transfer his call to you so that you can explain what this line is for?

d.: Transfer the call. (click).

Hello, my name is Justin Case, and I’m…was the backup quarterback for the replacement Texans.

d.: You were?

Yes, I got fired from that job. Now, I’m on unemployment. That’s okay, though, because it pays fifty dollars a week more than my old job.

d.: I see. And that’s why you called our 119 line, to brag about getting your raise in pay?

No, not exactly. With the inflation index going up two-tenths of a point from last month, I will see a decrease in my real pay by the end of the second quarter of next year. Amortize that over a twenty-five-year period, and you can understand my distress.

d.: So, Justin, you seem to be well-versed in economic policy. May I ask why the replacement Texans let you go?

They said it was a safety issue, that I’d taken too many blows to the head.

d.: Well, you seem plenty competent to me, Justin.

Who’s Justin, and who are you? Why did you call me? Where are my shoes?

d.: Er..well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks, so that’s the end of this cat tail(e).

Please join us next time for another addition of Cal.E’s Korner.