Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: (ring) Hey, d.c., what are you up to today?

d.: I’m working on a new series of books.

C.: What’s it about?

d.: It’s about a farmer/rancher who farms and takes care of his livestock by day but is a clandestine agent by night.

C.: What’s it called?

d.: Jone Deere Greene.

C.: Coome again?

d.: That’s the protagonist’s name.

C.: So, I assume that he rides on a John Deere tractor while doing his farming and ranching work.

d.: Yes, and, since it’s the only vehicle he can afford (because they cost so much) it’s also what he rides to his assignments. Think 007 meets Green Acres.

C.: Wouldn’t his tractor be slow, and make a lot of noise?

d.: Yes. That’s why he misses his assignments several times. And, even worse, he cannot begin to reason why his crops aren’t producing like they should.

C.: Because he runs out of fuel before he gets through with his farming and ranching chores since he takes it on his clandestine missions?

d.: No, it’s because he gets home so late, with his slow tractor, that he doesn’t get enough sleep. He wakes up around nine a/m., way too late to start his chores on the farm.

C.: Why?

d.: Well, Ben Franklin said

, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”

C.: And Ted Turns said,

“Late to bed, early to rise work like h-e-double hockey sticks and advertise.” Which won, do you think, made the most money?

d.: Ted Turner. He was once worth about two billion dollars, but Ben Franklin helped change course of history. Anyway, that saying is a fact for farmers. The later in the day it gets, the hotter it gets. That makes it harder to do chores and for livestock to eat. That makes for poor farming and livestock crops because fertilizing crops when it’s too hot will burn the produce.

C.: I see. So, how does John solve his problem?

d.: He decides he can’t do it on his own, so he seeks help from his county agent. This agent just happens to be his old partner when he was working in New York City. Kaitlyn turned state’s witness and went into the witness protraction program. Since she graduated from college with a degree in agriculture, the FBI thought it best to make her a county agent in an out-of-the way town that just so happens to be the place where her old partner is now trying to run a farm and ranch.

C.: So, what’s unique about John Deere Greene?

d.: he wears a tuxedo while he’s performing his chores on his farm.

C.: Why?

d.: Because he wants to be prepared in case he gets called to a case. Then, he doesn’t even need to hop off his tractor. He just rides it to the place where the crime is taking place.

C.: And how does John resolve his problem?

d.: He and his old partner decide to use her government truck to solve crimes and catch bad guys. Unfortunately, they get caught doing this by the state government and Kaitlynn is fired from her county agent job. Worse, John’s crops still won’t produce, and he’s having a bad calving year.

C.: So, what happens in act three, the happy part of the story, where all the protagonists’ problems are solved.

d.: Well, after Kaitlynn is fired from her job, she doesn’t have enough money to survive on, so she moves into John's farm house..

The couple then resumes their torrid love affair that started in NYC, and Kaitlynn uses her degree in agriculture to save the farm. They buy a couple of horses with the money they make from the year’s crop yield, and….

C.: Ride off into the sunset. The end.

d.: Not exactly, because Katlynn was pregnant with John’s baby, unbeknownst to her. He advanced age for a first-time mother made her pregnancy a high-risk one, and she’s afraid she will lose the baby after taking a pregnancy test when having morning sickness.

Kaitlynn then goes to her Ob-Gyn, but he’s  her and John’s arch nemesis, Dudley Do _Wrong

who is also in the witness protection program. He recognizes Kaitlynn and begins to open fire when John steps in front of the bullet. Kaitlynn fires back and kills the doctor and then tries to attend to John.

It’s too late, though. John dies in her arms.

Kaitlynn then vows to not only have John’s baby, but to bring down the cartel that forced her and the Ob-Gyn into the witness protection program. That leads to the next book in the series.

C.: That sounds………..interesting, and I'd like to here more, but we’re out of time for today. So, that’s the end of this cat tail(e).

Please join us next time for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.