Cal.E.'s Korner

Live from Cut-N-Shoot Texas, it’s the Joe Groan Show here on KIND/KING Conroe/Cut-N-Shoot, the number one-hundred and fifth rated radio station in the northeast corner of Southeast Texas. And now, here’s your host, Joe Groan!

JG:  Oh, oh, oh!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The Animal Olympics are here, and they are  back on track. The armadillo that was blocking the path of the tortoise ten-k found a trail of fire ants and started following it to the fire ant mound where he had a feast, .

And the two tortoises from the first heat of the Tortoise Ten K were able to continue their trek to fame.

Now, the Animal Olympics can get on with its premier event, the championship cat fight. This is between two worthy opponents who are properly prepared to meet each other in the ring for all the marbles. That’s right, the winner gets to proclaim him or herself the best cat fighter in the world, the Milky Way galaxy, and three other galaxies. And… let’s not forget that the winner also takes home a gold medal from the Animal Olympics.

 Our cat reporter on the scene, Kitt Katt, is standing by at the Houston Astrodome. Kitt, what can you tell us about the “Cat Fight to End All Other Cat Fights”?

Kitt: Well, Joe. there's a large crowd here

and the two opponents have weighed in.

and we’re getting ready for the opening announcements. Here’s the announcer now.

Ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary individuals and animals of all descriptions…LET’S GET READY TO RUUUMBLE. Today, we have the ultimate cat fight between two worthy opponents.

In the black corner, weighing in at 19.9999876123 pounds, the six-time WACKO cat fighting champion of the world, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken.

In the white corner, weighing in at precisely twelve pounds, the intergalactic cat fighting champion of three different galaxies, Electrifying, Lively, Awesome Cat fighter.,..ELAC!

Referee. Okay, y’all, this is for all the marbles. The winner gets to claim the title of not only the Animal Olympic cat fighting champion, but the champion of four different galaxies, so let’s have a clean fight. This is a Texas Cage Match, so the match will continue until one of you either climbs out of the arena, or lays down to take a nap because s/he is too tired to continue.

As far as the other rules, though, there are none, because it’s a cat fight, anything goes. When the bell rings, I want you to bump front paws and come out ready to fight. Good luck to you both.

JG: Well, I’d love for us to stick around and see how this turns out, but we’re out of time for today. Don't feel like a

who doesn't know the score. Please join us tomorrow for another edition of the Joe Groan Show where you’ll learn who the intergalactic cat fighting champion of four different galaxies is, right here on Cal.E.’s Korner.,