Cal.E.'s Korner

Live from Cut-N-Shoot Texas, it’s the Joe Groan Show here on KIND/KING Conroe Cut-N-Shoot, the number one-hundred and fifth rated radio station in the northeast corner of Southeast Texas. And now, here’s your host, Joe Groan!

JG: Oh, oh, oh! Only three more days to the big Animal Olympics and I’m jazzed.  In the premier event of these games, I want to see the big cat, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Tripe T Was Already Taken in the ring cat fighting against the huge cat, Meow Z. Tongue. Size does matter, but not in this case. The six time (sone to be seven time) World Association of Cat fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology cat fighting champion will dominate this match and then move on to needs the number two rated cat fighter in the world, his former WACKO tag team cat fighting partner, The Original Triple T, Tom the Tabby.

These two squared off a couple of weeks ago in the “Cat Fight of the Century” (in name only), and fought to a draw. Tom danced around the ring so much that T brought his couch into the ring for the second round. In the third round, Tom blew powder in T’s face and then sucker punched him while he was looking for some water to wash the powder out of his eyes so he could see. However, T landed a haymaker as he went down, and neither cat could get up before the bell sounded. That left Tom as the WACKO middleweight cat fighting champion because he held the belt before the cat fight. 

The Animal Olympics are a different sort of fighting, though. It’s an open division of cat fighting, so there are no weight limits. And, just like in WACKO cat fighting, anything goes for three rounds. The winner is the one who can avoid being knocked out for three rounds, or lands the most punches in those three rounds.

Since it’s an open division with no weight limits, I look for T to put back on four to five pounds of muscle and then knock his former WACKO cat fighting tag team partner into the cheap seats in the first round. 

And now, it’s time to  take some calls…oh, wait, we're out of time for today, and that’s a good thing. Less of you and more of me is the most desirable outcome, because I’m Joe Groan and you are someone else.

This has been Joe Groan, with one man’s (correct) opinion. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of my show…I mean, Cal.E.’s Korner.