Cal.E.'s Korner

Live, from Cut-N-Shoot Texas, it’s the Joe Groan Show here on KIND/KING Conroe Cut-N-Shoot, the number one-hundred and fifth rated radio station in the northeast corner of Southeast Texas. And now, here’s your host, Joe Groan!

JG: Oh, oh, oh! It's the most wonderful time of the year. No, it's not Christmas in June, it only seems that way, because, in three days, it’s the opening ceremony for the Cat Olympics. Okay, stroke that. Due to protests from animal organizations, this year, for the first time ever, all animals are invited to compete in these games. That will result in some odd matchups, I’m sure.

Look, I’m not predicting that some silverback gorillas are going to break out of the local zoo and compete in weightlifting against cats and dogs. Even with an open weight class, that wouldn’t be fair. But, if you have a big cat, say Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known as The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already taken competing against a huge cat like meow Z. Tongue, who now resides on planet Earth, would that be fair? Actually, it would. That's because T is serious about his competitions, and MEOW is a big fat slob of a house cat who's been "tamed" by a little old lady in Pasadena (Texas.

T is the picture of the perfect professional. He keeps his body in shape and eats healthfully. He has chefs and trainers and, well, one of the best looking spouses in the animal world. Even though he’s slimmed down to the middle weight WACkO cat fighting class to duke it out with his former tag team partner, Tom the Tabby, T.’s still the cat to beat. In fact, I’ll go on record now to predict that T will take the all-around best Olympic Animal, a new category this year. T will compete in cat fighting, weight lifting, the 400 meter run, and the steeplechase. He’ll also put the shot and throw the discus, so he’s entered in the maximum amount of events.

You can have all the dog riders, the dog ropers, and all the other competitors, including the doggy punchers. None of them will get enough points to unseat the premier cat in the games. It’s almost as if I can write that down now as the ending of the games, two weeks early, but that’s just one man’s (correct) opinion.