Cal.e.'s Korner

Live, from Cut-N-Shoot Texas, it’s the most loved sports radio host in the Northwestern corner of Southeast Texas, your host, Joe Groan. Coming to you from KEEN/KILL Cut-N-Shoot/Conroe Texas.

JG; Oh, oh, oh, oh!!! This day deserved an extra groan, because of the announcement I just got from the animal underground. It seems that, since the “Cat fight of the Century” took so much out of Tom the Tabby and Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken (by tom the Tabby), the Cat Olympics will begin next month, not this month. But…wait for it…It’s not the CAT OLYMPICS anymore, it’s the ANIMAL Olympics. That means that any animal of any species can enter these Olympic games. That’s just not fair.

Look, first, we had the “Cat Fight of the Century,” between two former BFFs that ended in a draw. That means that (surprise) there has to be another cat fight of the…..Entire History of the World? I mean, what else is left to call this fight, if the last one was the cat fight of the century? Now, we have animals of all descriptions in what was supposed to be a special competition between cats. I mean, who would want to play tug-of-war with one of these? T

This is is as unfair as me having to wit two days to give my opinion since the radio station was "under construction." Maybe the station manager would make a good partner for this guy in a game of tug-of war.

This is political correctness gone mad. If a cat is competing in weightlifting with a silver-back gorilla, how fair is that? 900 pounds of gorilla against nine pounds of cat?

And what about races? Yes, cheetahs are, technically, big cats.

But the fastest land animal known to man competing against a house cat who might run to get his dinner and at no other time? Or, heaven forbid, one that takes a Rumba to his dinner?

Yes, life is unfair, we all know that. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer, ad nauseam. But sports is the one place where there is supposed to be a level playing field, or as close to one as can be expected. So, why don’t they do this, have the Cat Olympics, the Big Cat Olympics, the Gorilla Olympics, etc. That way, it’s a fair competition for all involved. It will never happen, though, because the solution is too simple. Bureaucracies exist to confuse us, and the Cat Olympics is run by bureaucrats, not cats. This is the frustrating fact of the Cat Olympics. Until some influential cat (are you listening, T and Tom?) decides to get his front paws dirty, nothing will change.

This has been Joe Groan, with one man’s (correct) opinion.