Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Well, I’m still waiting for Tom and T to find me. We were playing a game of hide-and- seek. It looks like I found the perfect hiding place-this box. It’s been….Thirty-six hours?! Well, they haven’t found me yet, so I’ll keep hiding….d.c., what are you doing here?

d.: I came to pay T back for the five C-notes he lent me to buy eggs and other food, as well as gas, while I was visiting my dad at Thirteen Miles Past the End of the Earth. All the computers were down there, so had to have cash. Fortunately, your husband is loaded, so he had no problem wiring me the money.

C.: But how did you get into Wayne Manor without my knowledge?

d.: Oh, T gave me the thirteen-digit code to y’all garage door, and I went in that way. I had to do it quickly, because y’all change the combination every four to six hours. I didn’t have enough time to write it down, but, fortunately, I have an excellent recall for numbers.

C.: Memory.

d.: Of what?

C.: No, you have an excellent memory for numbers.

d.: Yes, yes I do…what were we talking about before we started talking about….

C.: Numbers.

d.: Whose numbers? I could remember my whole family’s telephone numbers before we all had cell phones that remembered them for us.

C.: Okay, anyway, I thought that you were going to spend almost all day at the gym, and I was going to write our blog solo today.

d.: Oh, yes. I went to the gym and I was going to stay a long time because I missed a workout or two while I was visiting my dad.  Today was a big day. I needed to do both cardio and weights, so I rode around the parking lot three times and was about to leave when I saw someone leaving the gym. I found that all I must do was wait for him to throw away his disposable water bottles, walk across the street to his truck, wait for him to adjust all of his mirrors six times and make three phone calls. There was another place to park two spaces down, but I wanted to leave that one for the person behind me who kept honking his horn. I reasoned that he was claiming that space for himself, since he kept waving at it with his left arm. I didn’t want to take it away from him and make him mad. Getting that parking space cut a few minutes off  my workout, so I finished earlier than planned.

C.: Okay, so you came in through the garage and went where to find my third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken?

d.: Downstairs, in the basement. He and Triple T, Tom the Tabby, had been training for what looked like a long time, because they were both sweaty and tired.

C.: Well, did T say anything about a game of hide-and-seek?

d.: Not that I remember…no, wait. He did say something about he didn’t want to wake you this morning because you looked so peaceful sleeping in that cardboard box. He said something about you wanting to play a game of hide-and-seek, but he and Tom wanted to play another game. When he and Tom looked for you, they couldn’t find you, so they just went about their business of training for their WACKO championship tag-team cat fighting match in six months. They want to be ready for the fight so that no one can take their championship belt from the World Association of Cat-fighting and Knowledge of Ornithology.

C.: So, not only did T find me while I was asleep, but he and Tom also didn’t even want to play this game with me?

d.: Yes, that sounds correct, Cal.E.

C.: I’m probably the only cat in the world who can lose a game of hide-and seek without even playing the game.