Cal.E.'s Korner

C.: Hi, d.c. I see that your back with your brain intact, so I guess those tests all came out okay.

d.: I am and they did. Now, who is the guy with the camera?

C.: Oh, that’s my third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken’s videographer.

d.: His what now?

C.: His videographer. Everyone has one now.  T. is trying to change his image. That way, his tag-team catfighting duo that’s composed of him and Tom the Tabby with has a good/guy bad guy combination that should appeal to a wide range of cat fighting fans.

d.: Okay, I see, but what is he doing here?

C.: Well, to promote T’s good-guy image, his videographer wants to catch his wholesome image, so he wants to film me doing my work. 

d.: Cal.E., you don’t have a regular job. And, when you fill in for Ralph at The Kennel, they don’t allow cameras inside the gate. So, what is he going to film you doing?

C.: Charity work.

d.: You don’t do any charity work. You just sit here in Wayne Manor and watch your favorite soap-opera, “Nine Lives to Give,” and talk on the phone all day. Since That’s all you do, how do you keep from gaining weight? Under all that hair, your as skinny as you were when you first landed on this planet. It doesn’t make sense.

(ding)

C.: Who is it?

It’s the plumber, I’ve come to fix the sink.

C.: Okay. I’ll open the door for you.

d.: That’s not the password that T wants you to use to let people inside of y’alls house. I must scream, “Cal.E., open this ding-dang door now!!” Why is this person’s (or animal’s) password different from mine?

C.: Because I set up a different password for my trainer. That way, if she rings the doorbell when T is home, I just shout, “Go away, we fixed the sink ourselves.” That way, T doesn’t know how I stay so thin.

d.: Okay, that makes sense, but you still haven’t told me about your charity work.

C.: Uno memento por favor.

Hi Cal.E., are you ready for your workout?

C.: I am, Charity. Thanks for coming on such short notice. Now, let’s get to work! You need to chase me around the perimeter of Wayne Manor ten times, because I’ve gained 0.0000001 ounces since our last workout.

d.: So, I suppose that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner