C.: (This is boring, monitoring our 119 line. No one ever calls to brag about not having anything going wrong in their lives. (ring). I stand corrected.
“Hello, this is your operator, Calculating Einstein Katt. What would you like to brag about today?
Oh, sorry. I thought I was dialing a help line. Thigs have been going pretty good for me lately, though. After my house burned down and I lost my job, and my wife moved out with our kids, I don’t have any worries!
C.: Sir, I don’t think you get the gist of this call line.
Well, maybe not. What are your hours of operation?
C.: We answer calls twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.
What time zone is that in?
C.: ???. Zulu time.
I’ll call back when I figure out what that is.
C.: (I wonder why d.c. hasn’t called me to write today’s script? He’s usually on time. He must have gotten caught up writing or something. I’ll just wait for his call.
In another part of Greater Houston (somewhere between El Paso and the Sabine River)
d.: (I need to go to the store to get a couple of things before I call Cal.E..Oh, the Girl Scout Brownies are selling cookies. I should get a box for Eudora. She really likes their thin mints, and so do I.) Well, aren’t you a cute little girl scout brownie. I’ll buy a box from you and give it to my wife.
Okay, thanks Mr. scot. That will be six dollars + tax and gratuity… that comes to $18.99.
d.: Well, all I have is a twenty dollar bill…
Okay. Thanks for the tip.
Mr. scot, will you buy some cookies for me, since you just bought some from my identical twin sister?
d.: I don’t have any more cash, sweetheart.
That’s okay, we take Venmo, Zelle, Pay Pal, and most major credit cards.
d.: Okay, fine, here’s my credit card…
Mr. scot?
d.: Yes?
You didn’t buy any cookies from me, and there are thirteen more of us, and we haven’t sold enough cookies to go home yet. I’m hungry and tired. Could you just buy a box from each of us so we can go home and eat and get some sleep, PLEASE?!!!
d.: (Heavy sigh) Okay, put them all on my credit card.
Now that we’re sold out of cookies, you can make some future orders, and we’ll call you to come pick them up when the cookies get here in a month.
d.: I think I may not be able to do that, I don’t want to get fat.
Well, that’s okay. I see you come into this store a lot. I’ll just remind you when we get more cookies in.
C.: Well, d.c. still hasn’t called, and it’s time for T to call me from Paris. It’s important that I answer the phone, because he can’t just drop everything and run home. Illinois is a long way for Houston, so I guess that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.e.’s Korner.
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