Cal.E.'s Korner

.: Wow! Cal.E., T and Triple T and Cal.E.’s kittens got this fight set up fast! It’s on ASPN, the animal sports network, 46321789 on my computer, along with channel 222.222. I’m already on my computer, and I can pick it up, as long as I hold my moth just right, and I don’t move for the duration of the fight. I must work tomorrow, but I want to see this, although it’s already after midnight. I guess I won’t get any sleep tonight….

No, I have a better idea. I’m the trainer for Cal.E. and her kittens (even though we've never even had one training session)  so I should be ringside….But that means that I must take T. Puppy with me so I won’t wake up Eudora. She always barks when one of us leaves the house without her. I need to get to the Astrodome quickly, but I need to take T. Puppy with me. It's an unusual venue for a ct fight, but, at least it's being used for something.

Come on, girl, let’s go.

Hi, y’all. we’re here on Channell222.222 with the fight of the cat fight of the decade, which follows the cat fight of the century when Tom the Tabby and Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo ((who really needs a shorter nickname) Now simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken will take on Cal.E. and her kittens. This is a grudge match, folks, between T and his estranged wife; and a lot rides on the outcome of it.

If Cal.E. and her kittens win, T must give up cat fighting forever, but if T and Triple T win, then Cal.E. must train and cat fight with her husband. Here’s the introduction.

Ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary individuals, and animals of all descriptions, LET’S GET READY TO RRRRRRUMBLE. This is a grudge match, and the participants have agreed to a Texas Cage Match. That means that if any cat leaves the mat in the twenty-foot high cage, the match is over, and that team loses. Otherwise, the first team to say :dog” declaring that team as lowly as any stray dog, loses the match. The match will continue until one of these things happen.

In the black corner, with a combined weight of 30.555556789, Triple T

and his partner, the six-time WACKO cat fighting champion of the world, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo ((who really needs a shorter nickname) Now simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken.

And, in Cal.e.’s Korner, Cal.e., and all fourteen of her kittens, with a combined weight of thirty.000000001 pounds.

And, we’re in for a real treat tonight, folks. It’s a grudge match for the ages. Just sit back and enjoy this premium entertainment.

C.: Okay, I only count thirteen of you…where’s Ralph?

Jodi: Ralph said he needed to go to the sand box.

C.: Well, then, it’s a good thing I put that sign up. He should be back in a minute… there his is. Let’s get started!

(Much) later

And this is round five, and Cal.E. and her kittens are holding their own., and the crowd is going wild! In an unexpected development, Ralph seems to be so angry that he’s become his team’s best bet to win this match. There are no rules in cat fighting, so Ralph is using his bass and his voice to punish his step father and Triple T.….oh no! Ralph is down and isn’t getting up. He rolls to the ropes and tags his sister.

Jodi: Doggie!!!

Referee.: And that’s the end of the fight.

d.: No it isn’t ref. She said doggie. Not dog. She was talking about my dog, not conceding the cat fight.

Ref.: It doesn't matter, it’s all from the same root word…

C.: I have a way to settle this dispute, Ref.

R.: Okay.

C.: Well, T can keep cat fighting, as long as I don’t need to be his partner. He can train with Triple T, or whomever he chooses, as long as he leaves me out of it.

R.: I’ll take this proposal to T.

T.: YES!!!

Okay, ladies, gentlemen, nonbinary individuals and animals of all descriptions, we have a decision. T gets to retain his six championship WACKO cat fighting belts, and Cal.E. gets to stay at home….

Ref: Where a female belongs.

C..: WHAT!!!

d.: Er…that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.e.’s Korner.