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Cal.E.'s Korner


d.: Well, I’m off today, so I really should help Cal.E.





by doing some creative editing of her manuscript since she worked so hard on it.. I’ll do that, after I listen to…




 

Hello, everyone, it’s the Joe Groan Show, with your host, Joe Groan.

 

JG.: Oh, oh, oooh! Today, I’m not taking callers. I’ll be reading and answering instant messages and emails.  I’ll read the first one, since it’s short.

Joe,     

You are the most opinionated….


Well, the network won’t let me finish that email, but I think y’all get the idea.


Mr., Ms., or nonbinary individual emailer, as the case may be,

It’s not so much that I’m opinionated, I’m just right ninety-eight percent of the time.


Okay, on to the next email…

Joe, I don’t know what to do. My dog isn’t mean, but nobody will visit me because he has a mean bar;, and they think he’ll attack them when they come to my house. My wife says she’ll leave me if I don’t ditch the dog. What should I do?


Emailer,

I can empathize with your situation. I had a Pit Bull Mastiff that everyone was afraid of. Fluffy wasn’t really mean, he just had a mean appearance and a mean bark.

My wife said the same thing yours did. She threatened to leave me and find someone else who was better. I kept the dog. It was the most peaceful thirteen years of my life. Fluffy only chewed one repairman’s leg off. It was justified, though, because he didn’t wait for me to put the dog outside. Unfortunately for Fluffy, he got an unfair reputation as a vicious dog because of this one incident. Then, no repairmen or women, or repair people would come into my house. That was a good thing, because that forced me to enroll in the University of YouTube to learn how to fix things around my house. Since I graduated with honors, I have this advice for you ma’am, sir, or nonbinary individual: KEEP THE DOG!

That way, you can watch all one-hundred fifty-seven bowl games in peace. When the dog’s age is in double digits, do what I did: record the dog’s bark so that you can play it after he passes away and someone knocks on your door.


This has been Joe Groan, with one man’s (correct) opinion.

 

d.: Oh, man! I didn’t remember this show being so long, and I need to meet Eudora and my sons for dinner, so I guess that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.

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