d,: Well, this email is what I’ve been waiting for. I asked the last agent that rejected my manuscript for feedback, and she said she would for a price. It was a little expensive, but I need to know where I’m making mistakes so that I can correct them.
Dear Ma'am, Sir, or Nonbinary individual:
You have a unique voice. CUT IT OUT! IF YOU Want TO BE TRAADITIONALLY PUBLISHED.! Editors don’t want unique, they want more of the same, only different. I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
A literary agent.
d.: This seems a little impersonal, but all of my manuscripts are using a narrator telling story to someone else I would need to rewrite very manuscript I’ve written and use a different technique… (ring)
“Hi, Cal.E. what’s going on in outer space?”
C.: I’m bored, d.c. I just tried to call my third husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken, but he was busy training to defend one of his five championship belts in heavyweight catfighting.
d.: So, what have you been doing with your time?
C.: I’m catching up on my favorite soap opera, “Nine Lives to Give.”
d. What’s going on with Black Bart??
C.: Well, Bart, the black cat, is dead. His daughter, BBD….
d.: BBD?
C.: Yes. Back Bart’s Daughter. She rode into the town of Tombstone to avenge her father’s death. I suppose that, when this show is set, Arizona was only a territory that belonged mainly to the Native Americans. It’s set in the Old West, so you should remember it. I think it is set in the 1980s, around the time you graduated from high school.
d.: I did graduate from high school in the 1980s, but Arizona had been a state since 1912.
C.: Well, it was in the same century, so you should remember it.
Anyway, BBD is searching for the cat who shot her paw in the jaw and killed him. He’d limped into town looking for the man that shot his paw. He never knew his biological father because he was adopted by a kindly elderly lady when he was a few weeks old. He wanted retribution for this, but was killed before he could shoot the cat who robbed him of this opportunity.
d.: That’s a lot to have happened in a couple of days.
C.: It is, and today, I’ll learn what happens with BBD’s daughter, and the show is about to come on.
d.: So that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
Comments