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d.: (I think I’ll call Cal.E. and see how her voyage from Earth to the Planet of the Talking Cats….) (ring)
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C.: Hello, d.c., how are you today?
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d.: I’m fine
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Eudora.: Dear, can you turn on the heater? I have a chill, or maybe it's a fever...no, it's a chill.
d.: Dear, the temperature is exactly what you set the temperature for the house, so we don’t need heat or a/c today.
E.: Just humor me, please.
d.: Yes, dear. (I’ll just turn on the fan and she’ll never know the difference).
E.: And don’t just turn on the fan, I’ll know if you don’t do as I asked.
d.: (How does she know what I was thinking…)
E.: Because we’ve been married so long, dear.
d.: (This is scary…)
E.: Yes, dear, I agree. It is a bit scary.
d.: “Hold on, Cal.E. I need to turn on the heater."
C.: Well, it is December.
d.: In Southeast Texas. I can’t remember the last time we needed the heater. I hope it still works.
Okay, I’m back….Cal.E.?
C.: I’ll be right with you, d.c. I’m looking for something>
d.: What are you looking for? maybe I can help.
C.: Well, I’m bored out of my gourd, so I thought that I’d catch up on my favorite soap opera, NINE LEVES TO GIVE. I haven’t watched that show in a couple of days, but I’m sure that it’s still later that same day,, so it should be fine.
d.: What was the last place you remember having it?
C.: If I knew that, I would be able to find it.
d.: Okay, then, what’s the last place that you would look for it?
C.: Why?
d.: I find it makes the search more efficient if you look in the last place you’d look for something first. That is because when you’ve looked in the last place you’d look and find the item…
C.: There is no use in looking for it anymore…and I found it. Thanks d.c.
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d.: No problem. I find that method works 67.899567% of the time.
C.: (He can remember that number, but not where his shoes are…)
d.: Cal.E., my shoes aren’t a number. I can remember numbers, but not names very well..
C.: How did you know what I was thinking?
d.: Lucky guess?
C.: Well, I think it’s because we’ve been partners so long, or maybe it’s because everything that we say and think is being written down.
d.: So that’s how Eudora did it.
C.: Yes, probably. Anyway did you find your shoes?
d.: They’re on my feet…no, hmm. I had them when I walked in the door… maybe I should assign each shoe a number. Then, I’ll remember where I put them….
C.: They looked like a really big number to me, with lots of letters, too.
E.: Dear, can you turn the temperature down 1.687546321 degrees? It’s a little warm now., or I have a fever, no, it's warn.
d.: Well, it’s going to take me a while to figure this out….
C.: Then I’ll go watch my soap opera.
This show is set in the old west. Probably the 1980s when d.c. finished high school.
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Now, let’s see, Bart limped into town looking for the cat that shot his paw. He never knew his biological father, so he’s really mad that someone took that opportunity from him…Who are these characters? I’ve never seen them before.
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I’m gonna avenge ma father by findin’ the man that shot his paw. He limped inta dis here town lookin’ for da man dat shot his paw, but was shot and killed afore dat could happen. Dat was twenty yeahs ago, but’s I’s still mad ‘bout hims takin’ da life oh da man I nevah knew very well.
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C.: Well, I suppose that I have some catching up to do on my favorite soap opera, so that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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