C.: Wow! I’m positioned just right to see what d.c. is doing at work. Since Texas Correctional Care has made inmates’ records public knowledge, I can share with y’all what I see. It might be interesting to see a day in the life of a Texas Correctional Care nurse.
d.: Hello, how can I be of service to you today, ma’am, sir, or nonbinary individual?
Inmate #1: I need my blood pressure medicine, NOW!
d.: Well, it’s not ordered for this time of day, and it’s illegal for me to give it to you in a way that’s not ordered.
Also, your blood pressure is very good today, so taking more blood pressure medicine would probably drop your blood pressure too low. This it a very strong medication, so overdosing you on it would be a mistake that may cause dire consequences, such as fainting.
I#1.: I don’t feel good. It has to be my blood pressure, so GIVE ME MY BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICINE!!
d.: Well, since your blood pressure is normal, maybe it’s your prostate that’s bothering you. Let me get my calf-pulling gloves and I’ll check it out.
I#1: What are your going to do?
C.: Wow! I’m positioned just right to see what d.c. is doing at work. Since Texas Correctional Care has made inmates’ records public knowledge, I can share with y’all what I see. It might be interesting to see a day in the life of a Texas Correctional Care nurse.
d.: Hello, how can I be of service to you today, ma’am, sir, or nonbinary individual?
Inmate #1: I need my blood pressure medicine, NOW!
d.: Well, it’s not ordered for this time of day, and it’s illegal for me to give it to you in a way that’s not ordered.
Also, your blood pressure is very good today, so taking more blood pressure medicine would probably drop your blood pressure too low. This it a very strong medication, so overdosing you on it would be a mistake that may cause dire consequences, such as fainting.
I#1.: I don’t feel good. It has to be my blood pressure, so GIVE ME MY BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICINE!!
d.: Well, since your blood pressure is normal, maybe it’s your prostate that’s bothering you. Let me get my calf-pulling gloves and I’ll check it out.
I#1: What are your going to do?
d.: A prostate exam.
I#1.: How? With a blood test?
d.: No. Have you ever been to a proctologist?
I#1.: Yes.
d.: Well, that visit will seem pleasant compared to this. Now, bend over…
I#1: My proctologist checked my prostate and…it’s fine. Just give me my blood pressure medicine and I’ll be on my way. If you don’t, I’ll…
d.: Security!
d.: (Well, that’s par for the course. I’ll just need to handle this situation myself.) Hmm, what’s rattling around in my scrub pocket? Oh, yes, I was supposed to throw these expired #15 scalpel blades* in the sharps container. I suppose I have a use for them now, so I won’t throw them away yet.
I#1. I-I’m okay. Can I just get an excuse for work?
d.: I can’t give you that. Have a nice day, and don’t let the doorknob hit you…
Oh, hi, inmate # 2. Did you come for your medicine?
I#2.: I did, but the pill lady said that you had to give it to me because she couldn’t. A nurse has to give it to me, and you’re the only nurse here right now.
d.: Okay, I’ll get it. Just sit down. I’m really sorry about your diagnosis, but at least you can get out early now so that you can see your family…
I#2.: Before I die?
d.: Just hang in there for a few more weeks, and you can see your family again.
I#2. Thanks Mr. scot, I feel a little better now.
Mr. Scot, Inmate number 3 is here to see mental health.
d.: Okay, send him in.
The mental health provider won’t be in this office today, but she’ll see you via telemed.
I.#3:What’s that?
d.: Umm… y’all call it the “Doc in the Box” because you see her on a television set.
I#3.: Okay.
d.: I was sorry to hear about your mom, but talking to this provider may be helpful to get you through your grieving process….
C.: Well, I’ve gone outside of the window, so I guess that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.*
*The blog post above is a fictional account. It does not depict a real situation or real people. No inmates, prison guards, nurses, or any other medical personnel were harmed during the production of this blog post.
And yes, folks. Stainless steel scalpel blades have an expiration date, believe it or not.
d.: A prostate exam.
I#1.: How? With a blood test?
d.: No. Have you ever been to a proctologist?
I#1.: Yes.
d.: Well, that visit will seem pleasant compared to this. Now, bend over…
I#1: My proctologist checked my prostate and…it’s fine. Just give me my blood pressure medicine and I’ll be on my way. If you don’t, I’ll…
d.: Security!
d.: (Well, that’s par for the course. I’ll just need to handle this situation myself.) Hmm, what’s rattling around in my scrub pocket? Oh, yes, I was supposed to throw these expired #15 scalpel blades* in the sharps container. I suppose I have a use for them now, so I won’t throw them away yet.
I#1. I-I’m okay. Can I just get an excuse for work?
d.: I can’t give you that. Have a nice day, and don’t let the doorknob hit you…
Oh, hi. Did you come for your medicine?
I#2.: I did, but the pill lady said that you had to give it to me because she couldn’t. A nurse has to give it to me, and you’re the only nurse here right now.
d.: Okay, I’ll get it. Just sit down. I’m really sorry about your diagnosis, but at least you can get out early now so that you can see your family…
I#2.: Before I die?
d.: Just hang in there for a few more weeks, and you can see your family again.
I#2. Thanks Mr. scot, I feel a little better now.
Mr. Scot, Inmate number 3 is here to see mental health.
d.: Okay, send him in.
The mental health provider won’t be in this office today, but she’ll see you via telemed.
I.#3:What’s that?
d.: Umm… y’all call it the “Doc in the Box” because you see her on a television set.
I#3.: Okay.
d.: I was sorry to hear about your mom, but talking to this provider may be helpful to get you through your grieving process….
C.: Well, I’ve gone outside of the window, so I guess that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.*
*The blog post above is a fictional account. It does not depict a real situation or real people. No inmates, prison guards, nurses, or any other medical personnel were harmed during the production of this blog post.
And yes, folks. Stainless steel scalpel blades have an expiration date, believe it or not.
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