Well, I can’t reach Cal.E. with my intergalactic phone. I suppose the way the sun is positioned has something to do with that, so I’ll need to wait a few hours to contact her. I really need to study for a big test, but first, I want to listen to my favorite spots talk show host, joe Groan. His show should be on now.
I can listen to him on my satellite radio because it can pick up WHEN in Hot Coffee, Mississippi and WHAT in Wiggins. The Hat and the Hen needed to combine to attract more listeners from these two small towns. The show is about to start, so I want to listen.
The World Series starts tomorrow night (groan), and two of my least favorite teams are playing. If only it could be a three-team tournament with the Boston Red Sox in addition to the Bronx Blabbers and the L.A. Whiners because then, all three of my least favorite teams would be playing each other. that would allow me to root for all three to lose. However, it’s already hard to decide which team to root against.
I could have predicted that the Dodgers would represent the Nation League when the Yankees won the A.L. pennant. New York and L.A. are the two largest television markets in the U.S., and T.V. rules all (see Tuesday and Wednesday night televised football).
On the one hand, we have the most storied team in baseball with more championships than any other team in sports history. They’re also a bunch of whiners (with the exceptions of Aaron Judge and Gerrit Cole) who got caught twice cheating with cell phones to signal pitches. They were fined a staggering $10,000 for this offense. I hope the owner was carrying small change (for him) in his pocket when he paid the fine. This team is hard to like.
On the other hand, we have the Los Angeles Dodgers, who are also a bunch of whiners. They haven’t been caught cheating, but the last time they were in the World Series (against the Astros in 2017) their outspoken centerfielder had batted something around eighty points higher at home than on the road. You do the math. The Dodgers complain that the World Series was stolen from them in 2017. Game seven, the deciding game, was played on the Dodgers’ home field, so it sounds like someone needed to fire some employees if they were, in fact, helping the Astros.
Additionally the Dodgers picked up reliever Joe Kelley on waivers in 2020, when the story of the sign stealing scandal broke in The Athletic. The biggest whiner not involved in “Sign stealing Gate” then proceeded to throw a one- hundred- mile- per- hour fastball at one of the Astros after being warned not to throw at anyone on that team by the baseball commissioner, Rob (his is not a) Man,Fred. Shortly after his suspension was completed, the Dodgers put Joe Kelley on waivers.
Those last two sentences made my mind up for me. No matter how much I hate the New York Yankees, I must pull for any team playing the hated L.A. Dodgers.
This has been Joe Groan, with one man’s (correct) opinion.
C.: Well, since my show’s over, I guess I’ll turn my phone back on. I hope no one important was trying to call me while I watched my favorite television show, "Nine Lives to Give."
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