See him wasted on the sidewalk in his jacket and his jeans,
Wearin' yesterday's misfortunes like a smile
Once he had a future full of money, love, and dreams,
Which he spent like they was goin' outta style
And he keeps right on a'changin' for the better or the worse,
Searchin' for a shrine he's never found
Never knowin' if believin' is a blessin' or a curse,
Or if the goin' up was worth the comin' down
He's a poet, he's a picker
He's a prophet, he's a pusher
He's a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he's stoned
He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction,
Takin' ev'ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home.
He has tasted good and evil in your bedrooms and your bars,
And he's traded in tomorrow for today
Runnin' from his devils, lord, and reachin' for the stars,
And losin' all he's loved along the way
But if this world keeps right on turnin' for the better or the worse,
And all he ever gets is older and around
from the rockin' of the cradle to the rollin' of the hearse,
The goin' up was worth the comin' down
He's a poet, he's a picker
He's a prophet, he's a pusher
He's a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he's stoned
He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction,
Takin' ev'ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home.
There's a lotta wrong directions on that lonely way back home.
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Kris Kristofferson
The Pilgrim, Chapter 33 lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
d.: Hey, Cal.E., I know how to win the election despite the vote-counter cheating for your ex-husband, King Tom.
C.: Why would I need to do that?
d.: Because of the picture you sent me of the vote counter shredding votes cast for you in the early electoral process.
C.: Oh, that. He’s actually on my side. He was just shredding some one-ply toilet paper after he heard my campaign platform: Outlaw One-Ply Toilet Paper.
d.: Well, you might still be really close in the voting on election day, so I wrote you and awesome speech to convince the inhabitants of the Planet of the Talking Cats to vote for you.
C.: Okay, let’s hear it.
d.: Friends, enemies, Tom cats, Queen cats, Nonbinary cats, cats with no gender identity, unfriendly cats, cats that talk, cats that cannot talk, cats of all ages and genders, fat cats, skinny cats, cats that climb, cats that don’t climb, cats that eat until they puke, cats that don’t eat much at all, lend me your ear.
I come not to bury King Tom (in the polls) but to oppose him. With your help on election day, I’ll promise everyone two full meals a day and no work for eternity. All you must do is vote for Cal.E. Katt on election day. Thank ya, Thank ya, Thank ya very much.
C.: d.c., how is this even possible if no cats are working? We have to earn our kibble on this planet because there are no humans to feed us here. We must earn our rent and food by actually working, not sitting on someone’s lap and purring.
d.: Well…that’s the beauty part. On this planet, politicians promise voters things they cannot deliver, knowing full well that they cannot do what they say they’re going to do.
Then, when things don’t improve, the politicians say that they haven’t had enough time to straighten everything out, so they need another term to succeed. How long does one term last on your planet?
C.: A lifetime.
d.: So, why have an election?
C.: Cats have nine lives, remember? Tom is at the end of his eighth life, so we must vote to get him out of power. He still has one more life, and he may fake still bieng in his eight life.
d.: I see…. Hey, Cal.E., which life are you on?
C.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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