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Writer's picturemarkmiller323

Cal.E.'s Korner





Happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

Happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

I'm so happy for you baby

Now that you've found somebody new

I see it in your eyes, Lord it's no surprise

What he can do for you

But when I look back baby

When I look back to what we had

And I know I'm countin' good times

But there were just as many bad

And so I wish you

Happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

Happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

There's a lesson here to learn when your baby ups and leaves you

Carry on, don't feel concerned even though you're so much in love

You need a little help from above, oh

Happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

Happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

Oh ain't no foolin' with you baby

Only the words are hard to find

You got me tremblin' at the knees

Answer won't you please

Before I lose my mind

This is our fifth year baby

And I feel like I'm in jail, Lord

I'm holding on to this card

Can't seem to get it in the mail

And the card reads ...

Happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

Happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

Ooh yeah, happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

Ah yeah happy anniversary baby

Got you on my mind

Oh, have a happy anniversary

'Cause I've got you on my mind

Always on my mind

Happy anniversary

Happy anniversary



Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Beeb Birtles / David John Briggs / Gerard Bertelkamp

Happy Anniversary lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Warner Chappell Music, Inc


C.: Okay everybody, let’s hide. My husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken will be home shortly, and I want to surprise him with this anniversary party.


HI T., SURPRISE! Happy anniversary, baby.




T.: Thank ya, thank ya, thank ya very much. Now, if y’all will excuse me, I don’t feel well. I think I’ll go lie down.




Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

End over end, neither left, nor the right

Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am

Make a piece in your master game plan

Free from the earthly temptation belowI

've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

End over end, neither left, nor the rightS

traight through the sun of them righteous uprights

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Bring on the brothers who've gone on before

And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door

All the departed, dearDoved ones of mine

And stick 'em up front in the offensive line

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

End over end, neither left, nor the right

Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of lifeE

nd over end, neither left, nor the right

Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights

Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life

End over end, neither left, nor the right

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft

Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music




C.: T., what’s the matter with you? It’s our second wedding anniversary. Like the first anniversary, the proper second anniversary present is paper, so I showered you with money. I even got my former band, the RoCKats to perform for us, since Ralph’s still on short tour with Beauty and the Glowfish. They’re on the POTC tour.





T.: Ralph and his band are playing on your home planet?


C.: No. They’re playing the back allies in Port Author, Orange, Taylor Lake and Conroe.





T.:  Anyway…You did, shower me with my money. I suppose that’s how you paid for the band as well, isn’t it?

C.: Is that why you’re acting like a queen cat? Texas is a community property state, so that, by definition makes it our money. Certainly we can enjoy the money that you earned, shook down other cats for and stole. It should bring us joy, so why are you listening to d.c.’s favorite sad song?


T.: I appreciate the thought, but I think that you got your dates confused.


C.: I did? I invited d.c., Mom and Dad,



Triple T,




d.c.


My thirty-third cousin twice removed ELAC


My forty-fourthcoustin four times removed, Penny




The mysterious one-armed man





and even Yetta Nather to come to our second wedding anniversary party, and they all showed up. This must be the right date.






T.: How did you word the invitation, Cal.E.?


C.: I said, “Please join my husband, Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken and me to help us celebrate the anniversary of happiest occasion of our lives.


T.: So, no mention of it being our wedding anniversary?


C.: No, why?


T.: Cal.E., don’t you remember that I refused to get married on this date because it was the anniversary date of my only loss as a cat fighter, to you when you dropkicked me through the goalposts of life in an exhibition cat fighting match?


C.: Oh, yes. I do recall that now, but that was an exhibition. I feel like a



But... You’re still undefeated as far as the official records are concerned. Besides, the Cat Olympics start this weekend, and we must leave for Paris tomorrow night. We couldn’t celebrate our anniversary on its proper date even if we wanted to. Not with all our friends, anyway.


T.: That’s another thing, Cal.E. I’m not supposed to associate with any members of the members of the Triple T Cat Cartel per the terms of my parole from The Kennel. The leader of that cartel being here at Wayne Manor could create trouble for me with Animal Control.


C.: Oh, suck it up, buttercup. I mean, what are the odds of Animal Control coming to Wayne Manor on the exact night that we’re celebrating our second wedding anniversary? I calculate the odds of that happening within the margin of error for a mathematical equation.


T.: Well, you’re now really good at math after staring at a container of orange juice in may refrigerator that said “concentrate’ on it for ten hours, and two percent is a really low chance that anything will happen. I might as well go enjoy myself…



(Tweet) ANIMAL CONTROL! This is a raid! Everyone keep your hands and your front paws where I can see them!


d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Tune in tomorrow to find out what happens to Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken and if he and Cal.E can still make it to the Cat Olympics in Paris, right here on CAl.E.’s Korner.


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