kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dearDrop loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
d.: Yes, Cal.E., that just might work. Tell T thanks for the help and for volunteering to deliver my Pong! Machine to your forty-fourth cousin three times removed. Just tell him to be careful not to dropkick my Pong! Machine through the goal posts of life before he delivers it (and hopefully brings it back to me). I’ll cross my fingers and hope that this works.
Later that same day…
T.: (knock, knock knock) Penny; (knock, knock knock) Penny; (knock, knock knock) Penny.
Penny: Yes, who is it?
T.: It’s Tucker Tucker Two, a.k.a. The Cat Fighter Formerly Known As The Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known As T Because Triple T Was Already Taken, I have your free-standing Pong machine compliments of nurse, author and lyricist d.c. scot.
Thanks for the use of your scissors. Now, I’ll just get this Pong! Machine out of this box and you’ll be ready to go as soon as I show you how to control the settings.
P.: Thank you. That’s for your trouble.
T.: Wow! A whole dollar! I can…buy a piece of bubblegum, maybe?
P.: Young man, you should just be glad to get anything more than what your company is paying you, now, please activate my Pong! Machine.
T.: Sure.
P.: Thank you. That will be all.
P.: Now, I’ll just play a nice relaxing game of Pong! It has a really nice remote control for such an old game.
Well, that’s the factory setting, but it’s too slow. What did that nice young tom cat say? Move the lever to the right to make it go faster? Yes, push right, up, down, clck my hells and say, "There's no place like home." There,that’s better…what on earth is going on?
Well, I never!
Who or what is this?
And this? And these...entertainiers?
And, oh my!
dee dee dee dee
I'll just get my phone and call d.c. "Mr. scot, your machine is defective. I insist that you have your man pick it up immediatley!"
d.: I'll do that immediately.
C.: I suppose all's well that ends well, but that's all the time we have for today floks. Please join us tomorrow for another epsidoe of Cal.E.'s Korner.
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