Welcome to the Grand illusion
Come on in and see what's happening
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show
The stage is set, the band starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing secretly you were a star
But don't be fooled by the radio
The TV or the magazines
They show you photographs of how your life should be
But they're just someone else's fantasy
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because you never win the game
Just remember that it's a grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same
We're all the same
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because your neighbors got it made
Just remember that it's a grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same
America spells competition, join us in our blind ambition
Get yourself a brand new motor car
Someday soon we'll stop to ponder what on earth's this spell we're under
We made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Dennis De Young
The Grand Illusion lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
d.: Since I’m going out of town this weekend on a business trip, I want to see what the weather will be like. I think that one of the local channels is giving the weather right now, so I’l just turn on the television and see.
Here’s the forecast for all of Texas for the next four months: IT’S HOT!! Now, back to the national news.
Well, in our lead story, it seems that green is really blue, and blue is green, and the color yellow doesn’t exist. So, the grass is blue, the sky is green, and the sun doesn’t exists. (ring).
“Oh, hi, Cal.E."
C.: Hi, d.c. What are you up to after helping save the world?
d.: I’m enjoying a gluten free, fat free, sugar free, carb free, protein free meal while I watch the world's all-time greatest work of fiction.
C.: So, you’re drinking a bottle of water while you watch the mainstream national news?
d.: Well…yes. Anyway, what can I help you with?
C.: I was just wondering if, since you’re a nurse, you can come to Wayne Manor and check my orientation. I just want to make sure that I don’t have a concussion, since I have this big bump on my face.
d.: Are you talking about your nose?
C.: I suppose, but I don’t want to get post-concussion syndrome.
d.: You get that if you’ve had a concussion, and you get hot and sweaty too soon afterward.
C.: Yes, and T wants to start training again for our Cat Olympics…
d.: I thought that was in May.
C.: It is, but he wants to be prepared for next year.
d.: So, T wants to train year-round for y’all’s main event, huh? I’ll be right over to check out your orientation.
Later that same day...
d.: Okay, Cal.E, I’m going to say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to your mind. Are you ready?
C.: Steady.
d.: No, I was just checking to see if…never mind. Up.
C.: Chuck.
d.: Cat.
C.: Smart.
d.: Dog.
C.: Dumb.
d.: Dumb.
C.: Dog.
d.: I don’t think that you had a concussion, Cal.E. Your orientation seems fine to me.
C.: I was afraid that you would say that. Can you at least write me a note saying that I need to lay on the couch and recover for a few days?
d.: No, Cal.E., only someone with a medical degree can do that. Maybe you can just talk to T and just tell him that you need to rest.
C.: I will. Thanks, d.c.
Tucker, Tucker Two, a.k.a. the Cat Fighter Formerly Known as the Tuxedo (who really needs a shorter nickname) Now Simply Known as T Because Triple T Was Already Taken, the love of my life, can I please have a couple of days off from training for the next Cat Olympics so that I can rest and recover from helping d.c. save the world from Meow Z. Tongue?
T.: What do you plan to do with your time off, my love?
C.: Probably take a good long cat nap…
T.: So, you want to play hooky from training with me so that you can sleep all day?
C.: It would help me recover….
T.: WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO SLEEP! THE CAT OLYMPICS ARE ELEVEN MONTHS AWAY! WE’LL TRAIN UNTIL WE DROP FROM EXHAUSTION, AND THEN TRAIN SOME MORE! I WANT TO KEEP ALL FIVE OF MY HEAVY WEIGHT CAT FIGHTING BELTS, SO WE MUST WORK HARD!!!
C.: (Why do all the males in my life channel Elvis Presley when thy don't get enough sleep?)
d.: That’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for anther episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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