Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the sun of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
C.: Oh, hi, d.c. I see that you’re still in your “Hank Hill” mode.
d.: What?! I’m gonna kick you’re a**. As soon as ah check on every blade of grass in mah yard ta make sure that they don’t need anything to eat or drink, that is. Ma yard is ma pride and joy.
C.: That could take a while. BTW, d.c., how much sleep have you had since you and your family got home from Washington, D.C.?
d.: Let’s see, carry the one, divide by two and multiply by six. That would be zero hours, Cal.E. Why would you ask me such an asinine question, though?
C.: Because, d.c. When you don’t get enough sleep, you tend to go into your alter ego mode… I suppose I should say alter ego modes now.
d.: What, exactly, are you implying?!
C.: That you can’t go without sleep for three days and still function rationally. You’ll feel as if you’ve been dropkicked through the goalposts of life if you don’t sleep soon.
d.: Challenge excepted.
C.: No, d.c. It wasn’t a challenge. I just want you to be healthy and be able to function normally.
d.: Well, I will sleep, after I wash all my clothes, check on my yard and edit all six of my manuscripts six times each. I have too much ta do ta sleep. Good day to you, ma’am.
Later that same day
C.: d.c., is that you?
d.: Well, I’ll tell ya little kitty, ya gotta give a li’lle ta get a li’lle, if ya know what ah mean.
C.: I’m sorry, d.c. I don’t speak Elvish, so I guess we’ll need to end the blog today so that you can get some sleep. We’ll talk again tomorrow right here on Cal.e.’s Korner.
d.: Thank ya, Thank ya, thank ya very much.
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