Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Make me, oh, make me, Lord, more than I am
Make a piece in your master game plan
Free from the earthly temptation below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
And all of the sisters who've knocked at your door
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine
And stick 'em up front in the offensive line
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
Yeah, dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor the right
Songwriters: Paul Charles Craft
Dropkick Me Jesus lyrics © Screen Gems-emi Music Inc., Black Sheep Music
Houston Texans’ headquarters; Houston, Texas; January 13, 2024; 2000 hours:
(What a great game! That pretty much sews up the coach of the year reward for our rookie coach, but I need to find a way to keep Cap here. Sure, the Niner’s are set, but what if Alabama’s new coach doesn’t work out? The Tide may offer a mint for Cap to return to his alma mater. The players still remember DeMeco Ryans from his playing days as an excellent linebacker, so he’s relatable. The rumor is that he was coaching the defense at Alabama from his position even when he was a freshman, so he’s a natural coach and leader. And, even though Bobby never played in the NFL, Coach Slowik is the hottest name on everyone in the NFL’s lips right now. I need to keep my offensive coordinator here, too, as well as the rest of my coaching staff. Ticket prices are probably going to need to go up to accomplish that. . …)
Mr. Caserio, that guy who claims to be God is on line one for you again.
I’ll take it. Thank you. “Bill Billicheat…er… Billichick, how’s it going? Yes, I did hear that you got dropkicked through the goalposts of life by your former organization, but I don’t have a place on my staff for you. No, I don’t need someone to inflate the balls for me. The NFL does that now, thanks to you. Oh, sure, I believe that you had no knowledge of what your staff was doing (the same way I still believe in the tooth fairy and Santa Claus). No, C. J. Stroud doesn’t need any more help, I don’t think (especially not the kind of help that you gave Mac Jones). He may not be the GOAT yet, but he doesn’t have Tom’s reputation, either. Everyone knew that, if someone hit Brady, it was a penalty on that player by the end of Tom’s career. The thing is, C.J.’s more mobile than Tom was, and he’s a bright young man, so he already knows how to count. He can’t run a play before his linemen and backs and receivers are set for a count, like Tom could. You had the whole NFL snowed, Bill. You are the GOAT, though (the greatest cheater of all time, that is).
“Yes, I did see your work with the University of Michigan’s staff when it came to film study. And yes, I do agree that almost every college and pro team is probably doing the same thing that Michigan did. The thing is, Jim got caught, like you did. I’m sure that one-half of one million dollars didn’t faze the Kraft family when they had to pay it for your mistake, but the draft choices that you lost did set you back.
Jim Harbough will probably go back to the NFL now so that he can compete with his brother and try to beat him in a Super Bowl. John has a good team, but the Harbough brothers are very competitive, so Jim wants to even the score with his younger brother, I’m sure. Jim Harboiugh being in the market for an NFL job doesn’t bode well for you, but maybe you could go to Tennessee and coach the Titans. Your man Vrabel’s out, so that job’s open. Or, how about the Colts? They may be in the market for a new coach soon.Why should I hire you, if the Texans’ organization now has five times the number of playoff wins that you did with the GOAT at quarterback? No, that was a rhetorical question, Bill. I’m not interviewing you for a job.
“Because I don’t need a defensive coordinator, either. Cap calls the defenses, and I think that Matt Burke is doing a fine job of assisting him. It was nice talking to you, Bill, but, since the Dolphins lost, we’re sure to be playing in cold weather next week, so I must go to a place where they actually sell real winter clothes. Maybe I could catch the Cowboys’ game while I’m in Dallas buying winter clothes…NO!!! Don’t send me the tape you’re going to make of that game, Bill, I mean it! That’s illegal! Maybe try to use it to get you another job so that you can pass up Coach Shula for most wins in a career by an NFL coach, but it won’t be in Houston.” (click).