Somebody's gonna hurt someone
Before the night is through
Somebody's gonna come undone
There's nothin' we can do
Everybody wants to touch somebody
If it takes all night
Everybody wants to take a little chance
Make it come out right
There's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
There's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
Lord, I know
Some people like to stay out late
Some folks can't hold out that long
But nobody wants to go home now
There's too much goin' on
This night is gonna last forever
Last all, last all summer long
Sometime before the sun comes up
The radio is gonna play that song
There's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
There's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
Lord, I know
There's gonna be a heartache tonight
The moon shinin' bright
So turn out the light and we'll get it right
There's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
Heartache, baby
Somebody's gonna hurt someone (somebody)
Before the night is through
Somebody's gonna come undone
There's nothing we can do
everybody wants to touch somebody
If it takes all night (mmm)
Everybody wants to take a little chance
And make it come out right
There's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
There's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
Let's go
We can beat around the bushes
We can get down to the bone
We can leave it in the parking lot
But either way there's gonna be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight, I know
Oh, I know there'll be a heartache tonight
A heartache tonight I know
Woo-woo
Break my heart
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Bob Seger / Don Henley / Glenn Frey / John Souther
Heartache Tonight lyrics © Emi Blackwood Music Inc., Cass County Music, Red Cloud Music, Gear Publishing Co. Inc.
Meow: CAL.E, I SENT YOU HERE TO GATHER INFORMATION ON THESE SIMPLETONS SO THAT WE CAN TAKE CONTROL OF THIS PLANET WITH A MINIMUM OF EFFORT (AS CATS ARE WANT TO DO). WHY HAVEN’T YOU SENT ME A REPORT IN THE LAST TWO YEARS? IF I DON’T RECIEVE A REPORT IN THE NEXT HOUR, THERE WILL BE A HEARTACHE TONIGHT FOR ALL YOUR HUMAN FRIENDS!
C.: I’d love to discuss this with you, Meow. You are the Supreme Ruler of the Cat Galaxy, but I’m talking to my best human friend, d.c. scot right now.
M.: DO YOU MEAN THE HUMAN WHO JUST GOT A PHONE CALL AND SHOWERED AND DRESSED HURRIEDLY? HE JUST JUMPED INTO HIS TRUCK AND DROVE AWAY. HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT NEEDING TO FILL IN FOR A COWORKER WHO WENT HOME SICK. HE SAID HE NEEDED TO STAY AT WORK UNTIL THE NIGHT SHIFT NURSES ARRIVED.
C.: Yes, well, there is that. I suppose I should call in myself, since I was going to fill in for my son Ralph tonight. He’s still touring with Beauty and The Glowfish. He’s the bass player for that band, temporarily.
M.: HOW DOES ONE PLAY MUSIC ON A FISH?
C.: …N-N-Never mind. I’ll just call d.c. and have him relay the message for me.
d.: (Well, there’s not much going on today, so I’ll just see if I’ve kept my New Year’s resolution. I reasoned it would be easier to keep one if I just concentrated on that one resolution and not a lot of them. That would make it easier to keep.
I’ll get on these very accurate scales after I take off my shoes, empty my pockets and urinate. Let’s see, I’ve dropped one-half of one pound since I weighed yesterday before I went to the gym. My one resolution was to lose weight, so, mission accomplished! IDK why people think keeping New Year’s resolutions is so hard).
(ring).
“The Kennel. Southeast Texas’ choice for minor offenders. If you do the (minor) crime, pick us to do your time (with). The Kennel was voted the most tolerable correctional facility in all of the southwestern part of Southeast Texas five years in a row. The Kennel is where we beleive that if your crime is minor, your punishment should be, too. This is d.c. scot speaking. How may I be of service to you, ma’am, sir or nonbinary individual?”
C.: d.c., I need to call in sick tonight. Can you tell the day supervisor to tell the night supervisor to tell his subordinate to tell his subordinate to…
Oh, nurse, we have someone for you to see.
d.: One moment please, ma’am, sir or nonbinary individual. I’m afraid that I’ll need to put you on hold for an indefinite period of time. If you grow impatient, please hang up and never call us again.
“Okay, what’s going on?”
C.: (d.c. didn’t put me on hold, so I can hear the conversation that he’s about to have. I shouldn’t listen, but it may be entertaining.)
Officer: This inmate looked at me funny, so I think that he may be suicidal. He needs a psych eval and to be locked up until the psyche counselor gets here two weeks from Tuesday. We can’t take any chances with these inmates!
d.: Okay, have you ever attempted suicide before, ma’am, sir, or nonbinary individual?
Inmate: Not successfully, no.
d.: And, are you currently experiencing constipation, diarrhea, chest pain, general malaise, hyperactivity, an elevated temperature, or disorganized, irrational or organized, rational thoughts?
I.: All of the above.
d.: I’m afraid I cannot lock this inmate up without constant supervision. He’ll need to be put on 24-hour observation.
Officer: So, you nurses do that, since y'all are trained for it, right?
d.: No. That’s left up to the correctional staff. You’ll need to call in extra officers to come in off shift to watch him until he can be seen by the psyche provider two weeks from Tuesday. Y’all wiil need to assist him while he showers, urinates, and defecates and dressed and undressed You’ll also need to feed him by hand, because I cannot authorize the use of eating utensils, since you believe that he may be suicidal. That’s why I cannot authorize you to take his handcuffs off until he’s seen by the mental health provider (that will teach them to bring in inmates unnecessarily).
“Okay, ma’am, sir, or nonbinary individual…hmm, the caller hung up. I wonder why?)
Meow: CAL.E, AFTER LISTENING TO YOUR CONVERSATION WITH YOUR HUMAN FRIEND, I HAVE A BETTER IDEA THAN YOU GIVING ME YOUR REPORT. I’LL ACCOMPANY YOU TO YOUR JOB TONIGHT. JUST TELL THEM THAT I’M A NEW TRAINEE, AND YOU NEED TO TRAIN ME TO DO YOUR JOB.
C.: Okay, I will, as soon as…
d.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.