C.: Well, the game is about to start. I see Ralph is about to sing the national anthem, and then the Astros’ new fight song that I made up! I’ll watch Ralph, and then fill in for him at The Kennel. It’s his weekend to work, but he’s otherwise occupied.
RALPH: And now, the Astros’ new fight song
A one, a two, a one, two, three four
Houston has the Astros
The greatest baseball team
They hit the ball from line to line
And homer in between
Their batters are amazing
Their pitchers are sublime
They make Rob Mafred miserable
By winning all the time
We’re the…
Houston Astros,
Houston Astros
Houston Astros
Number one, two, three, four
Houston has the A team
A pitcher’s worst nightmare
Yordon is the main fiend
He makes all pitchers despair
We’re the…
Houston Astros,
Houston Astros
Houston Astros
Number one, two, three, four
LET’S GO ASTROS!!
C.: Okay, I’ve seen my youngest son perform, so now I need to go fill in for him at his usual job. I’ll miss the game tonight, but I’ll watch it tomorrow on Tucker’s big screen tv. He and d.c. want to watch the game live on Tucker’s television, because it’s 0.00000001 millimeters larger than d.c.’s large screen tv.
Hmm. What’s this? This inmate left his iPad that the state supplied him with. Apparently, the inmates can pay a secret service and get the lost episodes of “Nine Lives to Give.”
He went to make a phone call, and he left the show playing on his iPad. Now, I can take my break and finally watch the lost episodes of my favorite serial that was cancelled before these episodes could air…
HEY CAT!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY IPAD?! PUT THAT DOWN BEFORE I CALL ANIMAL CONTROL AND HAVE YOU LOCKED UP!
Settle down, son. It's only an iPad.
C.: (Heavy sigh). I guess that I’ll never get to watch the lost episodes of “Nine Lives to Give.”
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