It's late in the evening
She's wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her makeup
And brushes her long blonde hair
And then she asks me
"Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight"
We go to a party
And every one turns to see
This beautiful lady
Who's walking around with me
And then she asks me
"Do you feel all right?"
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight"
I feel wonderful because I see the love light in your eyes
Then the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize
How much I love you
It's time to go home now
And I've got an aching head
So I give her the car keys
And she helps me to bed
And then I tell her
As I turn out the light
I say, "My darling you were wonderful tonight"
"Oh, my darling, you were wonderful tonight"
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Eric Clapton
Wonderful Tonight lyrics © Warner/chappell Music International Ltd., Eric Patrick Clapton, E C Music Ltd
d.: I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Cal.E. Why are you hiding under your mom and dad’s bed?
C.: Because the one-armed man is after me.
d.: What now?
C.: The mysterious one-armed man. He’s coming after me!
d.: Why would the mysterious one-armed man from a movie be after you, Cal.E.?
C.: Because I know the truth about him.
d.: ???
C.: Inmate 187654321 said that he was innocent of the crime he was convicted of. He said that he could prove it, if given a chance. He says he was framed by a kennel employee.
d.: Cal.E., All of the inmates in the human kennel say that they’re innocent of the crime that they were put into the kennel for. Many of them confess that they are actually guilty when they’re either paroled or serve their flat time and are released. Besides, you're basing your paranoia on someone who didn’t really exist.
C.: ???
d.: Well, first of all, the “mysterious one-armed man” was never seen in the movie the fugitive (circa 1993). Harrison Ford as the fugitive, Dr. Richard Kimbrell, and Tommy Lee Jones as Police Detective Gerard did an excellent job of portraying their characters. They were almost as good as Anthony Hopkins portraying Hannibal Lector in “Silence of the Lambs.” If one didn’t know better, he or she would think that those two movies were based on true stories.
C.: I thought they both were.
d.: I did too, at first. However, Hannibal Lector was a fictional character brought to life in the novel “Silence of the Lambs” by Thomas Harris. He’s a good writer, and Jodie Foster as Clarice Starling, a top student at the FBI academy and Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Hannibal Lector, a psychiatrist and psychopath really brought the characters to life. You and I probably aren’t the only ones who believed this to be a true story.
However, the movie “The Fugitive” is loosely based on a true story. Dr. Sam Sheppard was convicted of killing his wife and served several years in a federal penitentiary, maintaining his innocence until on his deathbed. He claimed a one-armed man had tried to burglarize his house, and his wife had caught the criminal in the act. To escape the situation, the one-armed man had used a kitchen knife to stab and kill Mrs. Sheppard. As he took his last few breaths, though, Dr. Sheppard admitted that there really was no one-armed man and that he had, indeed, killed his pregnant wife.
C.: d.c., there really is a one-armed man at the kennel. His name is Jonathon Smythe.
d.: Officer Smythe? He was formerly a captain and then was busted down to lieutenant and then sergeant before finally being busted down to correctional officer because he missed too many days and messed his paperwork up badly.
C.: Yes, that’s him. The state can’t fire him because he’s been working at his job too long. He has only one arm, and he’s a criminal. Additionally, he probably did all those things on purpose to be busted down to C.O. to implement his master plan. Also, he walks with a limp because he almost got caught once. According to the inmate I overheard last night, he barely escaped before being caught. The cops shot him in the leg, but couldn’t find him because he hid in a drainage ditch and covered himself with mud until they left. Then, he backtracked his steps to confuse the dogs that were brought in to find him and left the state for a while. That's why he missed a month of work!
d.: ???. Smythe claims to have been shot when he was deployed in Afghanistan several years ago. That’s why, he says, he limps, because he has a bullet in his leg that couldn’t be dug out with severing an artery and threatening his life. He lost his arm in the same firefight, according to him.
C.: He does have a bullet in his leg, but he was never deployed, and he lost his arm in an accident he had while working on his ranch. He stayed stateside the whole time he served in the marine corps, according to his official records. Also, I heard one of the inmates at The Kennel tell his cellie that C.O. Smythe missed so many days because he was committing crimes. He would then frame someone with a record for his crime. When that person came to the kennel where Smythe worked, he would harass the inmate into giving him all of his commissary goods, as well as all the money on his commissary account. Otherwise, Smythe threatened to create a disturbance and blame it on the inmate, which may result in a sendoff. That would result in extra years in the kennel for the inmate. That’s why he wanted to be a C.O. again, to implement his evil plan.
d.: Why do you think that C.O. Smythe is after you, then?
C.: Because I heard this inmate tell his cellie this while I was cleaning his cell, and Smythe was listening to the conversation. The two inmates couldn’t see him, because he hid behind the officer’s podium, but I saw him and he saw me. Cats are notorious for their keen hearing and sense of smell. Smythe saw me, so he knows that I know the truth about him. And now he knows that I know that he knows that I know the truth, and that’s bad, so I hid.
d.: That can’t be true, unless…
C.: Well, that’s all the time we have for today, folks. Please join us tomorrow for another episode of Cal.E.’s Korner.
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