C.: Thanks for talking Dad into letting you go to his family’s ranch and borrow a couple of their horses, d.c. Since Mom and Dad are out of town, you are the only other person I know who knows how to ride a horse! We will need some mode of rustic transportation to locate my kittens. All their GPS devices on their phones indicate that they are somewhere in an undeveloped area, a.k.a. “The Great Unknown.” Neither of us is fond of motorcycles, so this is our best option.
d.: What do you plan on doing with them when you find them, Cal.E.?
C.: We will then herd them back toward my house. I need them to get ready to come to work tonight.
d.: So, we are literally going to try to herd cats?
C.: Yes, that is what I plan to do.
d.: Then, you might want to turn around forward on your horse, Cal.E.
C.: This is how we ride horses on the Planet of the Talking Cats! This way, the horse can keep tabs on what is happening in front of him, and I can make sure that we are not missing anything when we pass by. It is the most efficient way to find someone or something.
d.: I see two problems with that theory, Cal.E. One being this is an Earth horse. You cannot talk to him, so he cannot tell you what he sees. The second is this is an Earth horse! He is NOT accustomed to anyone riding him backward!
C.: d.c., a horse is a horse of course, of course. I’ll teach him how to talk. AND it looks like you are getting some information “straight from the horse’s mouth,” right now!
d.: I was just checking my horse’s teeth and mouth. The bit seems to be bothering him. He seems to have it adjusted correctly now, though.
C.: After I teach my horse how to talk, he will adjust to the way I ride him. After we get THAT straight, we are off to the great unknown to find my kittens.
d.: I do not think the “Great Unknown” still exists in Greater Houston. Maybe not even in Texas, or the contiguous United States.
C.: Then why did you agree to ride with me, d.c. Why can’t you see, what this is doing to me, if you don’t believe a word I’m saying? I’m caught in a trap, I can’t hold back, because I love my kittens too much (maybe).
d.: Because, Cal.E., I thought you wanted to go for a pleasure ride when you asked me if I would ask your mom and dad if we could borrow a couple of their horses.
C.: My kittens’ phones, all thirteen of them, indicate they are somewhere in the “Great Piney Woods”!
d.: Cal.E., the Great Piney woods entails territory in east Texas, western Louisiana, southern Arkansas, and southeastern Oklahoma (www.wikipedia.com recalled 7/26/2022). We need more specific directions. I think that your kittens may just be trying to confuse you, because they do not want to come to work tonight.
C.: OR…, they were kidnapped by an animal from a neighboring planet of my home planet. That being is probably holding them for ransom, since s/he knows that I have a well-paying job with the state of Texas…
d.: (Talk about an oxymoron!) I do not think that is the case, Cal.E. Let's just look around, since we have the horses saddled up already. If nothing else, we can just enjoy a pleasure ride before we both need to get ready for work tonight. Your kittens are middle-aged. Whether or not they show up for work should be up to each of them. I do not think harm has come to any of them. Anyone would be foolish to try to kidnap one or more of a group of thirteen kittens. They may scratch that person’s eyeballs out!
Hey, Cal.E., I just thought of something. Maybe your kittens went to visit your oldest son, T.J., where he is training to be a guard cat. You should just relax and trust that you have set a good enough example since they have come to live with you that they will all fulfill their responsibilities and come to work tonight. Each one of your kittens needs to learn to take responsibility for him or herself.
C.: (Heavy sigh) I suppose you are right, d.c. Let me just turn around and enjoy the ride on these “happy trails”!
Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts,
Here's a happy one for you.
Happy trails to you,
Until we meet again.
Happy trails to you,
Keep smiling until then.
Who cares about the clouds when we're together?
Just sing a song, and bring the sunny weather.
Happy trails to you,
Until we meet again.
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