d.: Well, Cal.E is still on the lam, and my favorite target to criticize is not in the news today. I will just bring you more excerpts from Cal.E.’s Journal.
Cal.E.’s Corner; Day Eighteen
Today is a happy day for me! I am getting sprung from this terrible place called “The Kennel.” A couple with three sons and looking for a pet. They decided to take me home. Yeah! The only catch is that the authorities at The Kennel said that, to be set free, I must go to obedience school immediately. Since there are no cat obedience schools on this planet, my new mom said that she would homeschool me. That way, I will not be held back from furthering my education by a bunch of ignorant dogs!
I wonder what “obedience school” is all about. We don’t have a word for it on my planet, the Planet of the Talking Cats. Maybe it means that I will learn to be like an Earth cat, doing as I please, sleeping, eating, and grooming myself all day. I wonder why I will need to be schooled to learn how to do something I already do twenty hours a day?
Later that day
This is terrible! Obedience school is NOT what I was expecting. I want to drop out! My favorite nurse at The Kennel, d.c. scot, says that he sings when he is sad to try to feel better. He says that it usually works. I guess it is worth a try.
Your story sad to tell A talking cat ne'er do well Most mixed up non-delinquent on the block
Your future's so unclear now What's left of your career now? Can't even get a trade in on your smile Obedience school dropout No graduation day for you Obedience school dropout Missed your mid-terms and flunked the litter box exam Well at least you could have taken time To wash and clean your fur up After spending all that dough To have the doctor fix your nose up
Baby get movin' (Better get movin') Why keep your feeble hopes alive? What are you provin'? (What are you provin') You've got the dream but not the drive
If you go for your diploma you could join the cats who are cool Turn in your teasin' comb and go back to making drool
Obedience school dropout (Obedience school dropout) Hanging around the corner store Obedience school dropout (Obedience school dropout) It's about time you knew the score
Well they couldn't teach you anything You think you're such a looker But no customer will go to you Unless she was a booker of gambling on games
Baby don't sweat it (Don't sweat it) You're not cut out to hold a job Better forget it (Forget it) Who wants their fur done by a slob?
Now your bangs are curled Your lashes twirled But still the world is cruel Wipe off that angel face and go back to the pool
Baby don't blow it Don't put my good advice to shame Baby you know it Even dear Abby'd say the same
Now I've called the shot Get off the pot I really gotta fly Gotta be going to that malt shop in the sky
Obedience school dropout (Obedience school dropout) Go back to high school Obedience school dropout (Obedience school dropout) I’ve been such a fool! Obedience school dropout (Obedience school dropout) I have been such a FOOL!
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Harry Casey / Richard Finch
Beauty School Dropout lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
C. Nope, still sad.
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