C.: Hi, d.c. Thanks for taking a break from working on your book and coming to watch the big game with Dad and me.
d.: Hi, Cal.E. I suppose your mom took the opportunity to go shopping. That is what she usually does during the Super Bowl, since she is not a football fan. She says that the stores are empty once the game starts. Which team do you like in this game, Cal.E.? I know you are a BIG football fan, so you should be able to pick the winner of this game.
C.: I have the Texans and eight...
d.: What now?
C.: Yes, "Triple T" gave me 100,000 to one odds that the Texans would win this game or lose by less than eight points. I couldn't pass up THOSE odds. Since the Texans quarterback is number eight, I took it as an omen...
d.: Cal.E.! The Texans are NOT playing today. Besides, I told you that David Carr retired years ago...
C.: No, silly. I know that! Matt Schaub is also number eight. He is a good quarterback. I think that is one of the best trades the Texans ever made!
d.: (It was certainly better than the LAST trade they made), but Matt Schaub is not playing for the Texans anymore, AND the Texans did not even make the playoffs, much less the Super Bowl! How much did you bet with Tom the tabby?
C.: Well, since I got such good odds, I only bet one dollar.
d.: I suppose that you can cover that, can't you?
C.: Oh, sure. Hey, d.c., on an unrelated topic, can I borrow a dollar?
d.: Cal.E., if you are going to bet, you should study things like injury reports, turnover margins, tendencies of each team to cover or not cover the spread in the last few games... and, most importantly, who IS and is NOT playing in the game. I thought that you had gambling down to a science by now.
C.: Well... I was doing okay, but I got busy. You know how industrious cats are. Four hours a day is just NOT enough time to do all the homework I need to do. If you are worried about me paying back your dollar, though, I can pay you back next weekend. I have the West and eight in the NBA All-Star game...
d.: I suppose Tom gave you great odds on that game, too, didn't he?
C.: Yes, why?
d.: Because the teams are not divided into geographic locations anymore. Two captains draft the players. It is a lot like playing a pick-up game on the playground. No one wants to be picked last, but...well, that's irrelevant. How much did you bet on THAT game?
C.: I only bet what I could afford to lose.
d.: How much?
C.: Well... put it this way. Can I borrow eleven dollars? I will pay you back once Major League baseball starts...
d.: I do NOT see that happening anytime soon. Rob (he is NOT a) Man,Fred and his buddies have stymied the talks with the players for now. Both sides are greedy, but,... that's beside the point, too. You will actually need to borrow twelve dollars and ten cents. Bookies usually charge a ten percent user fee. I hear the human kennel dwellers talk about how they lost money gambling and had to do something illegal to get even, and then get caught and thrown into the human kennel.
C.: Let's see...carry the one, divide by three and multiply by the square root of twenty... yes, that is how much I will need, d.c. $12.10. Are you good for it?
d.: I can give it to you in cryptocurrency if you want.
C.: What is the exchange rate on that?
d.: I have no idea, but, if you are lucky, neither does Tom the Tabby.! Here, you had better just pay him with regular money. You do NOT want to be sat on by "THE TUXEDO" again! I will consider it an investment in your rehabilitation. Hopefully, It will discourage you from EVER gambling again!
C.: What kind of odds can I get on that?
d.: NOT very good ones, I'm afraid.
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